Miscellaneous: Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom....

By kelsjenks - 27/07/2011 13:50 - Canada

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 691

You deserved it 3 076

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Same thing different taste

Prehistoric

By and she blames me -_- - 13/10/2013 21:50 - Canada - Calgary

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 294

You deserved it 4 355

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 101

You deserved it 3 138

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 308

You deserved it 285

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 16:29 - Sri Lanka

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 2 799

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 805

You deserved it 2 729

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 938

You deserved it 2 003

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 882

You deserved it 4 579

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 332

You deserved it 3 839

Put it all back

By WTFwhywouldyoudothat - 22/08/2011 22:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 080

You deserved it 4 369

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 787

You deserved it 4 066

saIty 17

Wednesday 27 July 2011 19:13

Little did you know it was a magical flying broom.

metallicshadow 16

Wednesday 27 July 2011 19:11

haha ballbag

Comments

johnnyknoxville 8

Wednesday 27 July 2011 19:51

no body uses brooms anymore, get a swifter and hide it good.

nicksand 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 22:25

u spelled swiffer wrong

spazx 5

Wednesday 27 July 2011 19:53

lmfaooo

fuzz97 23

Wednesday 27 July 2011 20:35

What a candy-ass

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 27 July 2011 20:50

Canadia? Maybe he needed it for a curling match.

cdninf 4

Thursday 28 July 2011 16:10

No... just no.

shinshoku13 19

Monday 20 February 2012 0:13

Canadia? Wtf is that? Do you mean canada?

jren207 24

Wednesday 27 July 2011 21:06

I have a sweeping sense that this won't be something you'll be brushing under the carpet soon.

strainer04 8

Wednesday 27 July 2011 21:27

fail

Manon_fml 2

Wednesday 27 July 2011 21:12

Was it a Firebolt?

perdix 29

Wednesday 27 July 2011 21:25

Beware of the Happy Sacks that are gonna take your mop!

nikshikari 4

Wednesday 27 July 2011 22:13

Some smackhead broke into my nans house last night and stole all her valubles. Thank yourself lucky douche.

Tesaatje 12

Wednesday 27 July 2011 22:18

hahah the only thing in this fml that made me laugh was ballbag.

earnestine123 2

Wednesday 27 July 2011 22:35

maybe he's a quidditch player :)

Keywords

Love Music Cute Work Gross Coworkers TMI Racism Kids Scary Customers Geek Gamers Technology Miscellaneous Neighbours DIY Relatable Social Media Ironic Sex Awkward Cheating Animals Health Insects Plumbing Money Insurance Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect." I need this class to graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 2 748

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 904

You deserved it 74 237

The Top

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 588

You deserved it 36 395

Today, I asked my daughter what time it was. She stared at the clock for several seconds before muttering, "I don't know". She's 14 years old and on the honour roll, and yet she can't tell the time on an analogue clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 954

You deserved it 12 871

Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 110

You deserved it 52 445

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 728

You deserved it 251

Today, I was harrassed, called a bad mom, and had death wished upon me for getting the Covid vaccine. Apparently, I don't deserve to live because I don't want to die from the virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 191

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I felt something tickling my neck. Thinking it was him, I ignored it. Just when I was about to climax, I looked down to see a lizard on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 998

You deserved it 250

Same thing different taste

Prehistoric

Put it all back

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