Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
Today, at the gym, I caught sight of myself in the mirror while lifting weights and thought, “Damn, I look good!” I smiled. Then I realized the mirror was actually a window. A group of people outside had been watching me flex with a shit-eating grin on my face for God know how long. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML
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Top comments
Sunako_fml 9
That's just disgusting..
Welshite 40
What a disgusting habit. You deserve the contempt of your peers.
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Comments (272)
n1988e 8
Being at the gym aside, why would you smell your hands after anyway?
skibutter 1
so YOUACTUALLY have a habit of scratching your balls and sniffing? FYL for that
Dory123 9
You deserve it for making this a habit.
cubanebgy 2
That is disgusting OP you deserve those weird nasty looks
freakguy455 0
That's when you should have said, mmmm fromunda cheese...
NothernNightmare 18
*Gag*
mikesvodka 1
This is freaking disgusting...why would you even want to share this knowing the kind of comments these people are going to be leaving you?
lelo007 11
You must have been making quite a show out of it for most of the gym to be staring. I know many guys who scratch themselves in public, so I don't see that being a big deal with your fellow gym mates, and even if it was a quick sniff, I'm still sure not many people would notice. So I mean, did you have your hand down your pants just going at your balls, and then do a Molly Shannon "Superstar" sniff or something? That's the only way I can figure you would have had people staring.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Epic excuse: "Sorry guys, I got a scratch n sniff sticker stuck on my ball sack and it smells AMAZING!"
Bluekaren16 19
"Anybody else care for a whiff?"
perdix 31
You should have held your hands up, displayed 7 fingers and firmly shouted "Seven!" Look at them as if they are supposed to know that your current ball scent is a 7 out of 10. It's all about attitude.
kthxbie 10
Haha, that's funny!
Azula272 14
DocBastard may be able to clarify this. I heard it gives guys a machismo rise hormonally when they smell their ball stench..kind of like how guys are attracted to the pheromones on a females parts.
fukmefreddy 4
You must remember that is only acceptable around other marines... wait no they'll beat you up for being a fag too, stop it OP. Stop it now! Bad OP, we don't do that in public.