Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
Today, at the gym, I caught sight of myself in the mirror while lifting weights and thought, “Damn, I look good!” I smiled. Then I realized the mirror was actually a window. A group of people outside had been watching me flex with a shit-eating grin on my face for God know how long. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML
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Top comments
Sunako_fml 9
That's just disgusting..
Welshite 40
What a disgusting habit. You deserve the contempt of your peers.
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Comments (272)
penguin182 18
Been there, done that...
br0ccoli 15
I bet those guys really appreciate your sac juices all over those free weights. I don't even want to know what your hand smells like.
nismo_r2 5
Hahahahha I did that once when I was having sex with a girl. She looked at me and took the condom off and said to leave !!
Enslaved 38
"When I get nervous , I stick my hands under my armpits and than I smell them like this!" "SuperStar" flashback!(:
perdix 31
Mary Catherine Gallagher.
KiddNYC1O 22
Do you also have a habit of sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner?
babebeegurl95 7
How does one start that habit?!?
GutterMouth75 1
Interesting. See... I made it a habit NOT to smell after scratching. As long as the itch is gone I am good to go.
Kiki242 19
Nothing's like the smell of sweaty balls.
15949058 4
omggg it may be cause I am a 13 year old girl, but that is discustingg
perdix 31
No, it's gross to people of all ages and both genders. Some might say your spelling is "disgusting." ;)
Warden1986 16
I also didn't know (omggg) there was three gods... Unless she meant the father, the son and the holy sprite.
notepie 6
Wow dude you got some shit to work on!!!