Intimacy: Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room....

By Perpetually F-ed. - 17/01/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 388

You deserved it 9 336

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 824

You deserved it 121 912

Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 513

You deserved it 3 058

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 553

You deserved it 64 386

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 453

You deserved it 28 114

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 23:01 - United States - Parkersburg

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 741

You deserved it 3 075

By LemonLearn - 06/10/2016 20:59 - United States - New York

Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 094

You deserved it 1 114

By iailwkrb - 26/02/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 916

You deserved it 28 023

Rude awakening

By Alex - 22/02/2022 00:01

Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 237

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 656

You deserved it 219

By SayCheese - 02/04/2013 22:52 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 055

You deserved it 72 338

audyy_fml 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 23:35

"a tube of half-used lube".. this is really different than a half-used tube of lube..

AliSama 17

Sunday 22 February 2009 18:56

what is Astroglide? seriously? *google is my friend* Ewww. lol.

Comments

BloodyMary666 24

Wednesday 31 August 2011 17:49

Oh my God, I would´ve died on the spot! O.o

Shortiejordi 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 10:03

How awkward(:

heralynn1011 0

Sunday 13 November 2011 17:48

Nice rhyme . But it should be a halve a tube of lube .

teenagedream13 1

Friday 27 January 2012 5:52

*half

froggycutie22 4

Friday 23 December 2011 18:32

what is astroglide?

sockmonkey576 6

Monday 13 February 2012 5:24

Hey, you guys, ever think she may have a boyfriend??? 0_0

Steel_BZ 8

Tuesday 14 February 2012 8:37

So just because she is a girl means she can't be prepared & protect herself?? That was dumb..

ILoveZombieBoys 13

Saturday 18 August 2012 7:55

Don't keep lube in the top drawer!

greenman42 10

Tuesday 13 May 2014 4:15

You could have played it off and said your roommate must have put it there as a prank

FMLworthy5000 21

Saturday 28 June 2014 3:51

Did your parents nail a cross over your bed? Or did they douse you in holy water while speaking the bible in Latin?

worldclassrager 39

Monday 11 August 2014 19:25

What's wrong with masturbating? Just a little embarrassment

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, at the park, a woman asked if I could watch her toddler for a second while she ran to the bathroom. Before I could answer, she ran off. Ten minutes later, a police officer approached me because someone reported a "man lurking with a child." I’m a woman. And not the babysitter. FML

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You deserved it 75

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 208

You deserved it 5 316

Today, I turned in an essay after staying up late to work on it. I was away when the teacher assigned it, so I'd asked my friend what the subject was. It transpires that she'd given me the wrong one, all because she was mad at me for not returning her pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 521

You deserved it 7 558

Today, after spending thousands of dollars on remodelling and painting our house, making it exactly how we wanted it, my husband's grandma passed away, leaving us her house. I’m debating on ripping everything out and taking it to the new house my hubby is so eager to move into now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 407

Today, it was my one-year anniversary with my girlfriend, but instead of celebrating, we had to attend a family funeral with a bunch of people who "don't agree with our lifestyle." To make matters worse, I received my first ticket on the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 142

Today, after there was only one family that hated me enough to beat me up when we were kids, and we still don't get along as adults, my youngest brother is now dating into that family, and one of my older brothers is dating into that family too. It's like some kinda sick curse, or karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 141