Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
Cristal mommies
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML
Never enough
Today, for our anniversary, I asked what my wife wanted and she said not to bother spending money, so I didn’t, and she called me a tight git. Then for her birthday I bought her a gift anyway and she had a go at me for ignoring her wishes and wasting money. I literally cannot win. FML
Unilateral decision
Today, after reading about microplastics and taking a look at our ratty plastic containers, I tossed them all and spent some money buying some decent glass containers. My wife spent the evening giving me a metric ton of shit because apparently the crappy plastic containers were "sentimental." Fucking spare me. FML
Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML
Equality
Today, I gave my wife a £55 gin Advent calendar. She gave me a £1 one with chocolates i don't like. FML
Touch crowd
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Low blow
Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML
In the zone
Today, my wife was painting in the garage when she unplugged a random plug to charge her stupid, smelly vape without thinking about what it was she was unplugging. It was the large chest freezer. About £500 in meat and the entire bottom tier of our wedding cake defrosted and ruined. FML
Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML
Top comments
EffTrae 0
Tofu cake? magic healing crystals? Homeopathic remedies? Who buys stuff like that
NitroTonicsFML 4
Chocolate teapot? o_o
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Comments (229)
monnanon 14
You do know that homeopathic remedies work right? OK the healing crystals take them or leave them but theres nothing wrong with homeopathic treatments.
11charly 3
homepathy is a legitimate medicinal form of treatment, that actually works... just so everyone knows...
drummerchic14 0
thank you! someone who's not a complete moron
Radicalposture 2
No, it's water and sugar pills. The basic premise of homeopathy is scientifically invalid. It simply cannot work.
poweredbyparamor 0
u married a hippie
Levvy 22
Really, #96? (Not sure why this didn't properly post as a reply instead of a new post) And what journal did the double-blind experiments proving this have their findings published in? And why didn't it work for the experiment published in the 50th issue, 3rd volume of the Journal of Psychosomatic Research? The DOI is 10.1016/S0022-3999(00)00224-5 if you want to look it up yourself.
nataliedee 0
Why would you base your whole opinion on one article you found in a journal? Homeopathy actually eliminates the disease/infection/pain/etc. instead of just covering it up temporarily with drugs just to have it reappear again (and you'll have to buy even MORE drugs and the cycle continues). It requires time for it to completely work and causes aggreviation when you first begin using it, but after about a week or two your symptoms begin to completely disappear. How do I know this? I've been using homeopathy my whole life and my sister is studying to become a homeopath. If you don't believe me there are many books about how homeopathy works. Try "The Science of Homeopathy" by George Vithoulkas. I'm sure you'll see what I mean. tl;dr- that was a pretty close-minded comment you wrote and you shouldn't think you know all about homeopathy from one article you read. Homeopathy actually does work.
saksxalmo 20
127 - Anecdotal evidence is valid! I once used anecdotal evidence in an argument, and it later turned out that I was right!
Levvy 22
One article? Could you quote for me the place where I said that was the only article I'd read on the subject? Just drag your cursor over it, hit CTRL-C, then click the reply box and hit CTRL-V. Go ahead. And while you're filling in the box, perhaps you could go back and answer my two questions that you dodged (I.E.: Why it didn't work in an experiment where there were actually other people on hand to cry foul if it was done poorly, and what peer-reviews have done experiments in which homeopathy was efficacious) The difference between books and peer-reviewed studies is that the world of scientific peer-review is a shark tank in which scores of competing research institutes fighting over grants, contracts, and publicity have every incentive to watch each other vigilantly for mistakes. On the other hand, you can write a book about literally anything. I could write a book about how my front yard is made of chocolate. Who has incentive, or opportunity, to tell me I'm wrong?
portablecupid 3
"The Science of Homeopathy" - I actually laughed out loud at that title.
_IHeartMusic_ 4
I love tofu!!
Levvy 22
TL;DR or not, that's extremely reasonable. I think a huge part of respecting someone's beliefs is recognizing where they diverge from yours, and being able to acknowledge it and talk about it. It can even be a great source of humor as long as both people involved have a sense of that.
reallyseriously8 0
ha ha chocolate tea pot!! that's funny! you guys !! a chocolate tea pot would melt when you put the hot water inside!! that's why it would be dumb to buy a chocolate tea pot.. lol
kaylapple 1
what the hell is tofu cake?
IAmTheHeavens 0
You people are all bigoted assholes. That's what she believes in. It's no better than people who practice Christianity or Hindu or whatever type of religion. Op should have known about her beliefs before they got married. YDI for being a douchbag about someone else's beliefs.
CatTTy 10
It's like Christianity and Hindu in that it's equally BS.
Levvy 22
Except you can't experimentally disprove a god, but you can experimentally disprove (inasmuch as one can prove a negative, anyway) BS medicine.
misomalu 0
metaphysicals are possibly the stupidest people on earth, and you married one -.-