Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Today, my wife shouted at me for masturbating in the shower, because, "It’s disgusting." She hasn’t touched me sexually in two years FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
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Top comments
Deathhound 27
Why did she say it then?
gunmania0 12
Does no one else think its sort of the wife's fault? You may try and disagree and say that the op is a bad person for watching ****, but he was just a guy that wasnt getting any from his gal.
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Comments (180)
manichimon 2
Well at least he wasn't cheating on her! Be happy bitch.
ara9104 1
Hahah. What a bitch.
crazydanny9870 0
Lmfao to late buddy.
Jaygeeme 11
My wife caught me and now won't speak to me! Can't say I blame her I suppose, but if she cared to ask I would happily tell her that I hold her in the highest regard and would never choose **** over her, however if given the brush off when in a really randy mood I reserve the right to "de-stress". I would much rather watch my wife masturbating (to **** or otherwise) to ********** to, but she won't even touch herself at all and is very insecure about sex. She represses her sexuality and it seems repression is infectious! Understanding each others needs is crucial to successful relationships, it seems I'm selfish in needed to spread the baby batter other than inside her (especially as she wants children and considers it a waste) and she is selfish in expecting me to be as repressed as her and not explore my sexuality in a safe and healthy way that doesn't risk STD's or the integrity of our monogomous relationship. Only human I suppose...far from perfect. Every relationship has it's strengths and weaknesses. We never argue about anything and have never raised a hand to each other either, but it appears for all our common qualities people will always be fundamentally different on many levels...I would be interested to know what people think...?
FreckleFace9 1
Your fingers must REALLY hurt
Jaygeeme 11
She's still upset about this BTW!
NoYDI 4
**** or GTFO
hellojazzii 0
well she was screaming at you.. she was obviously too upset to want to have sex with you at that time.
White_Knightspc 0
"I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one?..."
FreckleFace9 1
Don't worry, it's a typical girl. We never know what we want :D
Jaygeeme 11
You speak truth sister of the sisterhood...
crazyluvbug 8
Yeah been there done that. It ******* sucks. I feel for ya.