Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML
Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
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Top comments
Froley 0
Just because she wants to make sure she's safe and you know what you're doing, you think she doesn't trust you? Be happy that she trusts you enough to take her virginity. YDI.
cabbitt 0
I don't trust you either.
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Comments (136)
notagoodayforme 0
it's ok, meatheads aren't supposed to think.
patiencek 0
the only thing that would be a fml is if you failed the quiz...
james3458 3
this is not an fml. unless you really meant "I'm too prideful to realize my girlfriend is just being safe, not insulting my intelligence, and I really shouldn't be complaining anyway because my girl trusts me enough to give up her virginity to me." if so, yeah, FYL. but hey man, hope it's enjoyable for both of you.
Ancient_Shed 1
if she doesn't trust you with that, then let her do it :)
xNephilim 19
My fiancé and I have been having sex for almost a year now and I still don't trust myself to put the condom on myself. I'd say trust the guy with experience but make sure he actually DOES have the experience he's claiming. That's basically what I did.
stewpididiot 11
well, it's prolly not even gonna stay on til you get to be about 13 or 14 so what's the point? stick to your hand little man.
reddwarf_fml 0
smart girl!!!!!
voveraite 7
Hang on, not that she's not smart, but were I in her shoes, there is the easy route of using her two hands, this way nothing goes wrong, if she's sure she learned her lesson well.
faneeza 0
wow she shuddnt trust yu if u think it's weird .........lol
nerdsgetmehot 23
What's the problem? She just wants to make sure that she doesn't get pregnant.
HomeAl0ne 20
I just imagine him sitting there, cursing under his breath going "Why doesn't she trust me? Of course I know how to do this, I took Sex-Ed classes!'. All the while struggling to get the condom on over a banana.