Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML
Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Today, the crazy bitch next door called the cops for me spying on her from my bathroom window. That window was painted shut by the previous owner, and I haven’t unsealed it yet. I had to show this to the cops to prove I have no illegal motive for pissing in my own toilet. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
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Top comments
cocoshake 16
report him for stalking
julianbozikovic 20
Keep doing it in front of him and when the cops come he'll look like an idiot! That'll be a good laugh :D
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Comments (119)
Jasim 17
I hope you told the cops the exact same thing.
cottoncandylips 16
I know the struggle! diabetes sucks! sorry that happened!
jentrynicole 20
If he keeps calling maybe the cops will just stop coming because they'll think he's full of crap.
HeartYou101 31
The cops HAVE to respond to every call they receive. There's no case of the boy who cried wolf, because the one time they could actually be in danger. I'm pretty sure if they receive a stupid call though, they can fine/give warnings/send to court anyone who wastes the police's time...
Colon_Man 17
"Filing a false police report" is feasible.
PSYqualiac 17
#30 They can actually arrest the neighbor for impeding police and various other things.
MistaBlista 9
"Thundercunt."
warsun 27
Gotta add that to the list
False_Stupidity 42
That's right up there with douchecanoe. =)
year2015 11
"shitdick"
Exaspera 55
I almost thought you were talking about my ex.
maddy_2001 14
I'm a 14 year old diabetic and I know how you feel. I've been called to the principals office for doing "drugs" it gets really annoying. Diabetes suck!!
refusetosink_15 9
I'm a type one diabetic as well and people say that to me all the time. Hopefully, now that he knows, your neighbor will stop being so nosey. Good luck OP !
PSYqualiac 17
I'm a coin toss on which I will inevitably become. Both are high probability my family. There are five people only that I know of on that side who don't have one or the other. That counts about 50 or so who have/died with it
8Dirty1 24
plant drugs in their property and ca the cops on them *evil laugh*
travellingfun 18
What an idiot and time waster, you should just awkwardly stare at this guy next time.
ninjahesten 18
when i woke up today, i was clueless that the word that would make my day was: Thundercunt. thanks Op :)