Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML
Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Today, the crazy bitch next door called the cops for me spying on her from my bathroom window. That window was painted shut by the previous owner, and I haven’t unsealed it yet. I had to show this to the cops to prove I have no illegal motive for pissing in my own toilet. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cocoshake 16
report him for stalking
julianbozikovic 20
Keep doing it in front of him and when the cops come he'll look like an idiot! That'll be a good laugh :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (119)
Fas4wd 13
At least he didn't execute you and two of your relatives and have media claim it was over a parking space.
serslybro 20
That's creepy! What did the cops say? I would report them for spying...
MandieL 27
I read "thundercat" rather than "thundercunt" at first. I think the **** part is much better lol. That's creepy dood, fyl, time to invest in heavy drapes.
Colon_Man 17
Would you be mad if your neighbor was Panthro?
Nina825 21
Ignore him eventually cops will get tired answering his complains ..
pcgwm 13
you should charge him for stalking, and invading your privacy
rylaii 26
Yeah looking through assign open window is neither stalking our invasion of privacy. It is creepy however. If OP wants him to stop looking close the blinds
cmac86 24
What a... Well you had a better description. Anyway, next time you do the shot, smile and wave, knowing he's watching. Or consider blinds.
mkayden 23
I really like the use of the word 'thundercunt'.
0mysteriousman0 22
Thundercunt is such an apt description!!!
jordyn20915 14
just start sitting around in the nude, problem solved
Pilos_in_manu_fml 7
For some reason "thundercunt" makes me think of the youtuber CholeraNinja ^^