Kids: Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her...

By Anonymous - 21/07/2011 23:46 - Australia

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 969

You deserved it 15 767

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Same thing different taste

By lawdy - 21/05/2017 20:00

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 466

You deserved it 630

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 050

You deserved it 6 139

By Anonymous - 19/08/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 5 939

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Akron

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 796

You deserved it 79 011

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 17:44 - Netherlands - Haarlem

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 018

You deserved it 5 262

By GMD - 18/09/2012 20:20 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 272

You deserved it 7 203

Think of the environment

By Anonyname - 18/05/2014 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 885

You deserved it 10 577

Mystery man

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 688

You deserved it 3 975

By dazzla08 - 26/03/2011 00:07

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 606

You deserved it 3 356

By adopted - 03/03/2014 15:55 - United States - New York

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 450

You deserved it 8 574

Iamnotmyself 17

Friday 22 July 2011 9:25

Beer is my child, how dare you !

jewknowit710 2

Friday 22 July 2011 9:29

time to get her a puppy I'de say!

Comments

hateevryone 14

Friday 22 July 2011 22:33

lol congratulations on your pregnancy

Countrygirl5 8

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:14

aww haha cutee

lizardlols 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 1:48

are you my stepdad? :3

missjet 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 3:30

adopt

ilikeme_fml 2

Saturday 23 July 2011 7:30

well that gives u a reason to get fatter each month!

white_mouse 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 15:20

YDI for being cissexist more than anything.

Uneedanapbro 6

Saturday 23 July 2011 16:59

No one ever pays me in delicious trident gum :(

fierystage 8

Saturday 23 July 2011 19:06

Uh, no scare quotes please. Lots of trans men don't get genital surgery and they are not "girls."

Offensive_fml 4

Sunday 24 July 2011 0:18

It's a good time to start dieting.

justbigbs 6

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:36

Better get teddy bear ready to come out of your as*. Otherwise you might have to work out and flatten down to tell your kid, the baby decided to go to god instead.