FML : Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke...

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By prickly - / Sunday 11 October 2009 16:48 / United States

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Top comments

By paivarotti | 0

#616064 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:18

Shove a pineapple up her bajingo.

By doggie3 | 0

#616051 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:14

Sounds painful.

Comments

By El_mariachi | 0

#616036 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:10

I'm #1

Six_and_the_Moon | 3

#616235 - Monday 12 October 2009 0:42

I'm firsy too ... get me a glass of ginger beer?

GreenHacker | 0

#616436 - Monday 12 October 2009 3:12

YDI for marrying a blonde.

GreenHacker | 0

#616438 - Monday 12 October 2009 3:14

Also, you should drop kick her ass

Bo_day_shus | 0

#618574 - Tuesday 13 October 2009 4:22

that's got forgiveness blowjob written all over it. score.

HOPELESSLYxJENN | 0

#620038 - Tuesday 13 October 2009 23:00

umm. i'm kind of in love with your comment Bo_day_shus. :D

cookiepenguin | 0

#918437 - Saturday 6 March 2010 9:16

at least it wasn't agun or it hit you in thefamily jewals

By sodahhhr | 0

#616039 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:11

Firsy

Incubuss | 0

#616118 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:38

Double fail. You can't even spell 'first'.

shinshoku13 | 19

#3959540 - Sunday 29 January 2012 2:52

Um actualy i believe she was making a pun on the similarities between first and thursty by saying firsy

arrow007archer | 19

#6086702 - Saturday 11 October 2014 9:25

only pricks say "First"

By doggie3 | 0

#616051 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:14

Sounds painful.

Sun_Kissed18 | 25

#616211 - Monday 12 October 2009 0:31

Oh it is, I had a giant cactus plant when I lived in Florida. Was right outside the house. If I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking... ouchies.

Ajjas013 | 6

#616317 - Monday 12 October 2009 1:26

Maybe it's a magical cactus!

Sun_Kissed18 | 25

#618507 - Tuesday 13 October 2009 3:54

I wish!

By JohnE3 | 0

#616055 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:16

Ouch. Well, ouch only if it hit you in the face; which would have been really funny if it was on youtube in slow-mo.

By supercu96 | 0

#616056 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:16

lol can't wait to see some moron's reason for this to be YDI

FYL xD

boogersyum | 0

#616067 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:18

You diserve it for owning a cactus! ROFL

SoreThroat | 0

#616077 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:22

Diserve? Lawl. He so DISERVED that one.

Shiningstartp | 9

#3384838 - Tuesday 4 October 2011 7:16

Hahaha . This was the exact reason I read the comments... To see the reasoning behind ydi lol.

By paivarotti | 0

#616064 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:18

Shove a pineapple up her bajingo.

paivarotti | 0

#616084 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:25

Perhaps it's all part of an s&m thing she's trying? Seriously, try this pineapple idea, i'm sure it'll only make your marriage more of a success.

ChronicFAIL | 0

#616490 - Monday 12 October 2009 4:00

Pineapple is code for penis.

*Just to be clear.* ;)

madishunwhut7 | 0

#617707 - Monday 12 October 2009 20:41

good use of the word "bajingo"
i haven't heard that in a long time!

DKjazz | 20

#2849568 - Friday 8 July 2011 19:54

You know, the pineapple is the manliest fruit, rough and spiny on the outside, but soft and sweet on the inside.

Epickitty58 | 29

#6256064 - Wednesday 8 April 2015 5:54

Thank you for helping me explain my hilarious and not-always-school-appropriate vocabulary, #6.

By Josher47 | 0

#616065 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:18

What a great wife

By shellybean87 | 0

#616087 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:26

haha funny! and no ur not #1 loser

By QueenOfEpic | 0

#616098 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:30

I'MA FIRIN' MAH CACTUS!!!

PandaPandaPandaX | 0

#616701 - Monday 12 October 2009 6:51

Hahaha you reminded me of a comic called Girls With Slingshots. :D

By fmlreader1359 | 0

#616109 - Sunday 11 October 2009 23:35

^ do you really not have a legit comment to say? that sucks btw. those needles hurt I've been poked by em before. and I have the flu. that would be cool if it was swine