Miscellaneous: Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she... - FML

By Anonymous - 28/06/2014 20:40 - United States - Oakland

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 053

You deserved it 4 595

Empathy lives

Walk on the wild side

Living my best life

By madessalarouge - 20/10/2018 23:00 - United States

Today, my 4 year old son excitedly asked me if he'd get to see drones at the zoo. He apparently thinks drones are living creatures. I guess I can go ahead and spend his college savings on shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 1 308

By hairless by death - 13/08/2013 16:07 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 192

You deserved it 4 221

Put the eggs in one basket!

By PsychoBoulevard - 13/03/2017 08:00 - United States - Tollhouse

Today, as well as for the past week, my cat finds immeasurable joy in knocking eggs of the counter and staring at me as I clean the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 169

You deserved it 1 127

By Laceylace - 22/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 673

You deserved it 13 135

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 05:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 651

You deserved it 3 312

By sudoku_fiend - 13/12/2015 04:40 - United States - Millville

Today, I discovered that I've spent so much time playing Sudoku in the bathroom at work that I've trained myself to need to pee whenever I open the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 634

You deserved it 5 788

By sober judge - 03/10/2013 03:46 - United States - Enfield

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 521

You deserved it 7 835

By so sad no dad - 15/08/2019 06:00

Today, while out with my girlfriends, my overbearing boyfriend called and texted my phone over and over. Later, I told him to calm down and stop acting like my dad. He snapped back, "How am I acting like your dad when you don’t have one?" He knows my dad died when I was 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 528

You deserved it 257

By Daddy_issues - 02/06/2018 05:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years. She took the opportunity to tell me that she's pregnant. With my half-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 261

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 03/07/2018 15:00

Today, I was verbally harassed by a customer because I wouldn’t give her special treatment after her meal was incorrect. I offered her a refund and a coupon for a free meal, which she refused before calling me a stupid kid who wouldn’t do anything to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 508

You deserved it 220

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 560

You deserved it 5 959

By Anonymous - 15/04/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 196

You deserved it 72 512

By kennarama - 16/02/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 520

You deserved it 2 530

Overreaction much?

By owngoalscored - 22/09/2018 22:00

Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 636

You deserved it 309

By Anonymous - 05/05/2013 19:35 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 835

You deserved it 6 003

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 465

You deserved it 2 136

By dogbreederssuck - 03/02/2015 15:26 - United Kingdom - Ormskirk

Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 419

You deserved it 2 846

By (L) - 13/02/2018 09:00 - United States - Athens

Today, I was studying in my university library when I noticed an attractive boy sitting alone four tables ahead of me. I wrote down my phone number, scrunched it into a ball, and threw it at him. He looked up, opened it, scrunched it up, and threw it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 3 671

By nutcracker - 23/02/2010 09:28 - Slovenia

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 172

You deserved it 68 219

By Dudeman5000 - 21/01/2009 06:59 - France

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 561

You deserved it 5 825

By Anonymous - 31/03/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 842

You deserved it 4 574

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 12:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 723

You deserved it 3 590

By gassygirlfriend - 10/05/2015 08:40 - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 980

You deserved it 5 108

By jodibut - 06/02/2012 16:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 635

You deserved it 8 017

By pzy - 24/10/2016 15:46

Today, I'm in the middle seat on a flight to Dallas. The guy on the aisle is sleeping with his mouth open and I can smell his breath. I feel nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 730

You deserved it 688

By whatchagonnado - 24/03/2013 07:35 - Canada - Victoria

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 869

You deserved it 8 839

Trust

By Goodtimes - 01/10/2019 20:01

Today, I had to dump my girlfriend because of tons of trust issues that kept reappearing. Shortly afterwards, my credit card disappeared and I got to experience my first identity theft. All within 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 17/01/2015 18:11 - Australia - Perth

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 424

You deserved it 6 295

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 555

You deserved it 15 123

This is us

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 19:59

Today, my husband asked me to check his asshole to see if his haemorrhoid had grown any bigger. This is my life now, all romance gone, and having to check his hairy ringpiece every day, and our kids wonder why I drink before I can fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 403

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 02:52 - United States

Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 690

You deserved it 2 592

By Anonymous - 27/08/2012 22:21 - France - Paris

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 554

You deserved it 2 599

By STUPID BIRTHDAY - 05/03/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I set up a dinner party for 20 of my closest friends. I arrived at the restaurant, fully dressed and everything. When I got there, I thought everyone was ready to surprise me, but instead, nobody showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 972

You deserved it 6 903

By ClearOne - 12/05/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 612

You deserved it 31 924

By anonymous2.0 - 12/10/2012 06:15 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 216

You deserved it 3 630

By Stigmamma - 12/05/2019 04:00

Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 231

By peter - 11/09/2009 04:33 - Indonesia

Today, it's my birthday. I'm a pastry chef by profession. Not only did my family buy a cake from my bakery, I had to make it myself and inscribe it with 'Happy Birthday Dad'. The worst part is, they asked money from me to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 669

You deserved it 2 974

By pridekills - 19/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Mulberry

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 115

You deserved it 8 995

By Carrie G. - 27/07/2012 00:46 - United States - Holland

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 608

You deserved it 2 428

By Anonymous - 23/06/2013 19:19 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 225

You deserved it 5 017

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Top comments

cherries62212 16

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

Monster-in-law award goes to this one! Sorry op, she has some problems.

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

She seems 'special' in her own little ways, too.

Comments

cherries62212 16

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

Monster-in-law award goes to this one! Sorry op, she has some problems.

urdirtyolduncle 15

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Sunday 29 June 2014 3:50

She's drawn first blood in this war of several decades.

vintage_doll_89 8

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Sunday 29 June 2014 5:21

Ooh, I'd un-invite her so quick...

vintage_doll_89 8

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Sunday 29 June 2014 5:23

On the upside, she's making herself look like a total asshole...it says more about her than it does you. That's low and pretty damn pathetic.

FroggerForReal 11

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Sunday 29 June 2014 5:45

it would be wise to move very far away to avoid contact with her add much as possible.

incoherentrmblr 21

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Sunday 29 June 2014 5:51

Gotta love the monster in laws...

Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:34

You mean "mistake".

Crazc 15

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:34

.... no

davidpropert 32

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:34

I don't think referring to the bride as 'special' and misspelling her name was on accident

ProfessorUnlucky 10

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:51

How do you accidentally call someone 'special'?

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:55

#9: You mean the groom ;)

amicusbriefs 10

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Sunday 29 June 2014 4:34

Like #9, I too thought OP was the bride without looking...

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Sunday 29 June 2014 6:10

@#2 what kind of mother spells her own daughter's name wrong and "accidentally" put "special"

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Sunday 29 June 2014 6:17

58, the kind who is not really the mother, but actually the soon-to-be mother-in-law.

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

There's a reason they're referred to as "monster-in-laws" hahaha

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

She seems 'special' in her own little ways, too.

alligator729 15

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

Is your husband going to do something about this..? It is HIS bitchy mother...

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:57

More like the bride needs to do something. OP is the groom.

alligator729 15

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Sunday 29 June 2014 2:04

Well shit, this is true. I wonder why the hell the bride let that happen then.

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Sunday 29 June 2014 2:14

Or it could be a gay wedding so you could be right all along.

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:33

i'm surprised you even trusted your mother-in-law with that

AlwaysWatching 27

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Sunday 29 June 2014 16:56

Maybe she just insisted and OP had to give in.

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:34

I'm gonna go ahead and say it's your fault. If you knew she didn't like you, why put her in charge of something special like that?

rocker_chick23 27

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:59

OP's future wife probably let her do the invitations. The OP doesn't deserve any of this.

awkward_gothlady 32

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Sunday 29 June 2014 2:07

Maybe he thought including her in the wedding preparations would help her warm up to him, or maybe he just had no idea how juvenile she was going to act.

MisterGasMoney 16

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Sunday 29 June 2014 4:51

In charge of something "Special"?

mageepaigeee44 15

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:35

For some reason I thought of that scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding when Tula's mom spells the mother in law's name Harry instead of Harriet on the invitations. This is why the husband and bride should look over the invitations before ordering them.

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:36

What's your fiancé doing about this?

Cynical_D_Luffy 10

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Sunday 29 June 2014 1:36

Well, that's a pretty low strike.

Nearly

Today, I have to do a science presentation in approximately 10 minutes. I didn’t do the assignment or make a PowerPoint cause I stayed up all night trying to do my French homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 13

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 254

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 160