Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she...

By Anonymous - 28/6/2014 20:40 - United States - Oakland

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

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Miscellaneous

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

Not a cheating!

Risky business

By Anonymous - 26/8/2019 14:00

Today, I went through my purse to see where my keys were. I found my house keys, but not my car keys, so I freaked out. When I remembered that I was driving, I felt stupid. FML

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By mighthavepaidfortwodates - 28/3/2019 22:00

Today, after an amazing date with a girl I like at a restaurant, I realized I foolishly forgot my wallet. When I returned, I spotted my date at another table on a date with a different guy. I also wasn’t able to find my wallet. FML

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By prin - 5/9/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, someone asked my fiancée and I how we met. She said, "Well, it was just supposed to be a one night stand!" and laughed, right as I was about to take her hand and say, "It was love at first sight!" FML

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By Teach - 31/3/2015 07:40 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/6/2011 13:37 - Denmark

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

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By Tee - 26/3/2010 08:48 - France

Today, I got locked inside my office again by my co-workers because they had forgotten I was still around when they left. This happens 1 or 2 times a week. FML

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By Cress - 11/2/2018 19:00

Today, my dad asked what I wanted for my birthday. The only thing I wanted was the complete series of Dragon Ball Z on DVD. He just sighed, shook his head, and asked me to pick something normal. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/7/2019 21:00 - Canada

Today, I was so zoned-out, I shouted a hello to the chair in the staff room. It's the third time today I've mistaken an inanimate object for a person. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/8/2015 23:01 - United States - Parkersburg

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/7/2020 08:00

Reading comprehension

Today, one of my clients called me, saying that he received my email. When I asked what I could do for him, he replied, “Well, what does the email say?” FML

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By Anonymous - 16/4/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

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By mybad - 25/8/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh so being my usual joking self I kidded "Why aren't those kids in school?". She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML

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By Anonyme - 29/5/2012 10:19

Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML

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By rani - 2/2/2013 22:34 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

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By Man Shamed - 29/6/2019 10:00 - United States - Hyattsville

Today, while using the bathroom in a small coffee shop, I somehow passed out sitting on the toilet. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the vicious banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons attempting to break down a door. FML

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By Hopeless - 4/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying “woah no thanks”. I get rejected even in my dream. FML

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By M. Moore - 10/6/2019 18:00

Today, my 12-year-old son came home after a week with his father. He was still wearing the same socks and underwear I sent him out with. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/12/2012 04:06 - United States

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

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By jen - 8/7/2011 14:57 - United States

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/10/2010 17:33 - United States

Today, I flashed my boobs at my boyfriend's boss. My boyfriend was wearing tan pants and a black sweater. His boss was wearing black pants and a tan sweater. From 100 feet away they looked the same until my boyfriend came behind me wanting to know what I was doing. FML

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By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

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By uofpalum - 19/3/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML

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By lastinclass - 13/7/2016 21:28 - Canada - Vancouver

Today at camp, we were choosing teams for capture the flag. It's embarrassing to be chosen last, but today I learnt it's even more embarrassing to not be chosen at all. FML

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By Sarsippius - 18/5/2013 05:22

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

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By cockfist - 4/3/2014 22:41 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

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By glitterzebra - 9/10/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 21:13 - Canada

Today, I had to perform with my Orchestra at an event. I hadn't eaten at all because I had to get my blood sugar tested. During the middle of a song I passed out. No one helped me and no one stopped playing "because the song wasn't over and they didn't want to ruin the performance." FML

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By theish - 4/2/2011 14:08

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/2/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/8/2009 19:39 - Canada

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

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By Unfortunate Painter - 23/11/2012 02:56 - United States - Merced

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

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By no sleep for me - 8/1/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

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By FuckedByLife - 12/2/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Bridgend

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me. How? His other girlfriend crashed her car into mine and had him pick her up. FML

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By StayedHome89 - 20/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I ran into some friends from high school who had just gotten back from college. We were talking about what happened during our sophomore year. When it was my turn to tell them what I had been doing, all I could say was "Well, I started wearing V-Neck t-shirts and they're pretty comfortable." FML

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By the_lonely_life - 27/6/2013 01:02 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

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By Nothing Special - 23/12/2015 06:54 - United States - Hixson

Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/1/2013 18:03 - United States

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

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By singlesummer - 25/6/2012 08:32 - United States - Compton

Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML

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By dazedandconfused - 25/6/2009 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML

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By lisa - 29/11/2015 16:04 - Australia - Kensington

Today, my sister accused me of "leading on" her creepy best friend and said I should apologize to him for making him think he was going to get lucky. I haven't talked to the guy in over 5 years, except for one random encounter 2 days ago, where all I said was, "Hi, how have you been?" FML

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Top comments

By cherries62212 | 16

#5991533 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

Monster-in-law award goes to this one! Sorry op, she has some problems.

By cjlerch | 29

#5991536 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

She seems 'special' in her own little ways, too.

COMMENTS

By cherries62212 | 16

#5991533 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

Monster-in-law award goes to this one! Sorry op, she has some problems.

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#5991678 - Sunday 29 June 2014 3:50

She's drawn first blood in this war of several decades.

vintage_doll_89 | 8

#5991739 - Sunday 29 June 2014 5:21

Ooh, I'd un-invite her so quick...

vintage_doll_89 | 8

#5991743 - Sunday 29 June 2014 5:23

On the upside, she's making herself look like a total asshole...it says more about her than it does you. That's low and pretty damn pathetic.

FroggerForReal | 11

#5991763 - Sunday 29 June 2014 5:45

it would be wise to move very far away to avoid contact with her add much as possible.

incoherentrmblr | 21

#5991769 - Sunday 29 June 2014 5:51

Gotta love the monster in laws...

By mkymouse90 | 17

#5991534 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Welshite | 39

#5991542 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:34

You mean "mistake".

Crazc | 15

#5991543 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:34

....

no

davidpropert | 32

#5991544 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:34

I don't think referring to the bride as 'special' and misspelling her name was on accident

ProfessorUnlucky | 10

#5991574 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:51

How do you accidentally call someone 'special'?

soullyfe | 33

#5991587 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:55

#9: You mean the groom ;)

amicusbriefs | 10

#5991710 - Sunday 29 June 2014 4:34

Like #9, I too thought OP was the bride without looking...

illusong | 16

#5991782 - Sunday 29 June 2014 6:10

@#2 what kind of mother spells her own daughter's name wrong and "accidentally" put "special"

Nymeria_fml | 25

#5991790 - Sunday 29 June 2014 6:17

58, the kind who is not really the mother, but actually the soon-to-be mother-in-law.

By person961 | 9

#5991535 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

There's a reason they're referred to as "monster-in-laws" hahaha

By cjlerch | 29

#5991536 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

She seems 'special' in her own little ways, too.

By alligator729 | 15

#5991538 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:32

Is your husband going to do something about this..? It is HIS bitchy mother...

soullyfe | 33

#5991591 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:57

More like the bride needs to do something. OP is the groom.

alligator729 | 15

#5991602 - Sunday 29 June 2014 2:04

Well shit, this is true. I wonder why the hell the bride let that happen then.

91hayek | 31

#5991616 - Sunday 29 June 2014 2:14

Or it could be a gay wedding so you could be right all along.

By acommonman | 23

#5991541 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:33

i'm surprised you even trusted your mother-in-law with that

AlwaysWatching | 27

#5992139 - Sunday 29 June 2014 16:56

Maybe she just insisted and OP had to give in.

By CliffyB03 | 28

#5991546 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:34

I'm gonna go ahead and say it's your fault. If you knew she didn't like you, why put her in charge of something special like that?

rocker_chick23 | 27

#5991593 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:59

OP's future wife probably let her do the invitations. The OP doesn't deserve any of this.

awkward_gothlady | 32

#5991605 - Sunday 29 June 2014 2:07

Maybe he thought including her in the wedding preparations would help her warm up to him, or maybe he just had no idea how juvenile she was going to act.

MisterGasMoney | 16

#5991721 - Sunday 29 June 2014 4:51

In charge of something "Special"?

By mageepaigeee44 | 15

#5991551 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:35

For some reason I thought of that scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding when Tula's mom spells the mother in law's name Harry instead of Harriet on the invitations. This is why the husband and bride should look over the invitations before ordering them.

By AGFDS1004 | 2

#5991554 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:36

What's your fiancé doing about this?

By Cynical_D_Luffy | 10

#5991555 - Sunday 29 June 2014 1:36

Well, that's a pretty low strike.