Intimacy: Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved,...

By Anonymous - 18/07/2015 05:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 064

You deserved it 5 855

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Joe - 19/10/2009 04:32 - Cambodia

Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 102

You deserved it 2 953

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 526

You deserved it 15 211

Sex ed done right, sort of

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 12:00

Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 809

Bad student at the school of life

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 00:00

Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 229

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 4 817

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 046

You deserved it 5 821

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 13:46

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 081

You deserved it 4 046

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 967

You deserved it 946

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 963

You deserved it 15 166

By Anonymous - 25/01/2013 05:39 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 893

You deserved it 6 330

TheGolfGTI 24

Sunday 19 July 2015 5:42

You need to have a serious talk. That is not okay.

MDoremis 38

Sunday 19 July 2015 5:39

You must be so proud.

Comments

Kikiers21042 18

Sunday 19 July 2015 12:43

That's rape they can't consent if they are drunk... You need to get him help

jables38 11

Sunday 19 July 2015 12:51

Surprised no one here has mentioned the aids. No protection anal? Your asking for it

Moonditch_fml 19

Sunday 19 July 2015 12:55

As a few people have said, safe sex isn't just to prevent pregnancy, but STD/STIs as well. You might want to sit him down for another talk.

grgn123 0

Sunday 19 July 2015 12:59

why is this up for debate? if he feels the need to get a girl so drunk that she consents to something she would otherwise not do sober, then yes it classifies as rape.

sailorarctic 22

Sunday 19 July 2015 13:00

I'm not a #feminazi, but your son is a product of rape culture if I ever saw one.

allyboss78 16

Sunday 19 July 2015 13:16

It sounds like your son is still a virgin. I'm pretty sure he's full of shit.

Xion0014 20

Sunday 19 July 2015 13:26

If he doesn't listen, then you're not very good at parenting now are you..

_awwhellnaw_ 45

Sunday 19 July 2015 13:51

I kinda took it as a joke. My friends and I go out to have fun and a few drinks with no intentions of having sex. If my parents insisted I bought condoms, I'd give them a sarcastic remark before leaving.