Transportation: Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic...

By MerryDeathmas - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

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Transportation

Big baby man

Narcissistic parents FTW

Facebook Science

By Anonymous

Sad sad sad

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

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By Charli

Today, after months of my (now ex) boyfriend telling me he wished I was blonde with big boobs, I finally retaliated with "I wish you were a redhead with a big dick, but you don't see me complaining." He cried and said I should love him for who he is. FML

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By chrome dome - 22/4/2021 20:01

YouTube drama

Today, my sister put hair remover in my shampoo as a "prank" for her YouTube channel. My mom grounded her for a month, but let her keep her dumb channel because she cried and said she’d kill herself if she had to delete it. Meanwhile, it’ll take years for my hair to grow back the length it was. FML

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By Nicole - United States

Today, I was in IKEA when my friends and I thought it would be fun to play hide and seek. We all hid; I was in a good hiding spot. Half an hour later, I was still there. I texted my friends to see where they were. They all left to see a movie, and forgot about me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

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By Anonymous

Venus in Furs

Today, my boyfriend asked my dad why he gave me the nickname "Bear," which he has called me since I was very little. My dad responded, "Because she has a hairy back." FML

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By f-ugly - United States

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

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By GirlinGreen - United States

Today, I was babysitting a four year old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me and that I should go die and never come back. FML

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By Jessica - United States

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

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By Downanout

Today, I found out I did so horrible during my interview that I didn’t even get a rejection email. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé suggested we bring his elderly mother with us on our honeymoon. FML

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By becca - United States

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

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By bubblewrap - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

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By MC Turtledick - United States

Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

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By Anonymous - Singapore

Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - La Grange

Horndog

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

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By lefthandspanker - United States - Craig

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

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By kellyem2

Today, I found out that when my boss said she was considering bumping me up to full time, she actually meant she was planning on letting me go. Everyone in the office except me knew. FML

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By random - Canada

Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Itchy and Scratchy

Today, I put a collar on my dog to get rid of his fleas. Good news? He doesn't have fleas anymore. Bad news? They've moved onto the rest of my family. FML

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1481

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By Loved

Today, my boyfriend bought me an engagement ring. It turned out to be the wrong size and we had to return it, since the store said it couldn't be re-sized. As we headed home, I felt guilty, so I turned to him and apologized. His response? "It's OK honey, I didn't really want to marry you that much anyway." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

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By merpaderp14 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

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By Nathan - United States

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

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By atsukobo - United States

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

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By patient_mom - Australia - Surrey Hills

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

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By IRum - Russian Federation

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

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By twelfinity - United States

Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad decided to clean out my car and "accidentally" threw away my $520 tax refund check. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Murrieta

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

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By YouAssholes - United States - Anaheim

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

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By jobless - United States

Today, I got an invitation to my "going away lunch" the company is throwing for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

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By trainE - United States

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

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By fmlskank93 - Australia

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

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By Oops54321 - France

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

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Top comments

By thatonetribute | 31

#6354444 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:43

Kind of a bratty thing to do, hon.

By KayDee29 | 31

#6354425 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:39

This makes me happy. I definitely hit YDI.

COMMENTS

By courtz94 | 24

#6354419 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:38

Maybe next time you shouldn't try to be dramatic. Maybe next time you should try to resolve the issue.

ukeandfoodislife | 19

#6354997 - Sunday 19 July 2015 19:00

Even though I agree with you, we've all done something like this before. Whether it be a car door, bedroom door, etc.

By jet223 | 20

#6354420 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:38

I have no words other than ydi u idiot. Stop being such a dramatic cunt. People like you annoy me and you deserve it.

By KayDee29 | 31

#6354425 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:39

This makes me happy. I definitely hit YDI.

By pixierara | 28

#6354435 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:41

This is giving me flashbacks to Mr Incredible when he lost his job....

Angsty_Armadillo | 25

#6354478 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:55

I totally thought of that too! I'm not alone. Haha

JamisonB98 | 16

#6354646 - Sunday 19 July 2015 9:24

"That was TOTALLY AWESOME!!!"

-Little Neighborhood Kid in the Incredibles

lovelockdown23 | 23

#6354664 - Sunday 19 July 2015 10:06

wicked

"that was totally wicked"
kid from incredibles

5FDPmetalhead | 17

#6354697 - Sunday 19 July 2015 11:05

That was the first thing that popped into my mind?

By _guy_j | 12

#6354437 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:41

How would being dramatic help?

By alanamarieg | 18

#6354441 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:42

At least you showed her, right?

By thatonetribute | 31

#6354444 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:43

Kind of a bratty thing to do, hon.

dyne808 | 34

#6354686 - Sunday 19 July 2015 10:38

we've all done something like this once though...

By TheGolfGTI | 24

#6354445 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:44

I bet that gets wheely tiring after a while.

hacksaw246 | 24

#6354942 - Sunday 19 July 2015 17:36

I appreciate the effort but you may have tried a little too hard..

By Anro_fml | 17

#6354447 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:44

Blame the chick

By Loliology | 10

#6354449 - Sunday 19 July 2015 5:45

Do you drive a Nissan Shitbox?

thesmeagol | 22

#6354893 - Sunday 19 July 2015 17:06

Any car will do that depending on how hard you slam it/hit it. Easy 10 minute fix to reconnect the rod/clip or replace it completely.