Today, my son was finally born. He was the perfect weight, as healthy as can be, and has his father’s dark, chocolate complexion. At least I’m guessing so, since both my wife and I are white. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML
Today, I took my newborn son to his one week weight check appointment. The pediatrician said, “OK, and he’s here today with his mom and big brother?” He thought my husband, who is 21 months older than me, was my son. How old do I look? FML
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML
Today, I learned it is in fact possible to give birth despite having had no symptoms of pregnancy, including no weight gain. Our daughter made a surprise appearance this morning at 6 lbs exactly, and we are in no way ready. We don’t even have clothes for her. My husband is acting like he’s been concussed. FML
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML
Today, I gave birth to my first son. He was 11 pounds and the labour lasted 22 hours. My husband was absent for 8 of those hours because he slipped when my water broke, cracked his head, and ended up in the ER next door. FML
Today, and ever since she got pregnant, my girlfriend has been hinting that one of her great-grandfathers was black, so there’s a chance our son may be black too. I wasn’t suspicious before, but she has mentioned it so often I’m starting to think it’s less a great grandad and more a baby daddy issue. FML
Today, I sit alone in a nearly empty apartment, drinking from a whiskey bottle. Two weeks ago, my wife and I were ready to welcome our first child… except the little bastard was the wrong color, and my wife's hysterical tears told me everything. FML
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Top comments
Mynxie 26
Divorce her, found the real father, and dump them on him. Oh and make sure the cheating twit doesn't get a dime from you. Make the real dad pay for everything. Get out now.
Allie614032 34
I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. Did your wife really think that you'd believe the baby was yours once you saw him? Or maybe she was just hoping you were the father. Terrible situation for you.
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Comments (39)
indienerdgirl 27
I don't know if she's cheated or not. Get a DNA test for sure because if by chance the child is yours you don't want to give them up. But I've seen articles about twins who one is black and the other one is white. So anything is possible I guess. But honestly I highly doubt it in your case.
Mynxie 26
I know that story and the fathers are two different men she slept within a week of each other.
dragons14y3r 23
That's not how sex works at all.
franniemae 8
This needs a follow up response after the DNA test.
pastafanatic 13
There is a possibility of that being caused by a recessive gene because of ancestors way back when, however, that is just a “maybe”.
Wintermelons 19
:<
Surewhatever 36
I have a friend with fire-red hair and freckles born from a Palestinian family. Everyone else: parents, brothers, neices, nephews...all dark-haired/dark-skinned. I asked him and he said there were extremely recessive genes on both sides. And he also pointed out that as an adult, other than his coloring, he looks like his parents and other family members so it seems to be true.
Andrei I 9
"me myself and irene" all over again
SwordSlashBlade 13
Surprise muth******er is an appropriate expression here.
popemcslippyfist 5
eeewwww