Today, I took my newborn son to his one week weight check appointment. The pediatrician said, “OK, and he’s here today with his mom and big brother?” He thought my husband, who is 21 months older than me, was my son. How old do I look? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son was finally born. He was the perfect weight, as healthy as can be, and has his father’s dark, chocolate complexion. At least I’m guessing so, since both my wife and I are white. FML
Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML
Today, my 11 month-old son stopped saying mom and started saying dad. He already looks exactly like him. I can't help but feel jealous. FML
Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML
Today, I was taking my 3 month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon." I've never had a baby. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML
Today, after my 4 year-old was so excited to be a big sister, hugging my belly every chance she got, counting down the days till the due date, my son was born this morning. She took one look at him and declared, “I don’t like him, leave him here, do we have to keep him?” then started crying. FML
Today, my newborn son is only four days-old. My in-laws have been over five times already. FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
This seems less about how old you look and more about how young your husband looks. If he is old enough to have his own child but is being asked if he’s the older brother of a newborn, it sounds like he probably looks insanely young for his age, and judging by the fact that you said he is “21 months older” I’m assuming you’re both relatively young parents. Some men can look like young teenagers until their mid to late 20s, especially if they don’t have thick facial hair and shave what they do have.
Advance 57
Tired, I guess.
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Comments (2)
cacheson 42
This seems less about how old you look and more about how young your husband looks. If he is old enough to have his own child but is being asked if he’s the older brother of a newborn, it sounds like he probably looks insanely young for his age, and judging by the fact that you said he is “21 months older” I’m assuming you’re both relatively young parents. Some men can look like young teenagers until their mid to late 20s, especially if they don’t have thick facial hair and shave what they do have.
Advance 57
Tired, I guess.