Today, my son was finally born. He was the perfect weight, as healthy as can be, and has his father’s dark, chocolate complexion. At least I’m guessing so, since both my wife and I are white. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML
Today, I took my newborn son to his one week weight check appointment. The pediatrician said, “OK, and he’s here today with his mom and big brother?” He thought my husband, who is 21 months older than me, was my son. How old do I look? FML
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML
Today, I learned it is in fact possible to give birth despite having had no symptoms of pregnancy, including no weight gain. Our daughter made a surprise appearance this morning at 6 lbs exactly, and we are in no way ready. We don’t even have clothes for her. My husband is acting like he’s been concussed. FML
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML
Today, I gave birth to my first son. He was 11 pounds and the labour lasted 22 hours. My husband was absent for 8 of those hours because he slipped when my water broke, cracked his head, and ended up in the ER next door. FML
Today, and ever since she got pregnant, my girlfriend has been hinting that one of her great-grandfathers was black, so there’s a chance our son may be black too. I wasn’t suspicious before, but she has mentioned it so often I’m starting to think it’s less a great grandad and more a baby daddy issue. FML
Today, I sit alone in a nearly empty apartment, drinking from a whiskey bottle. Two weeks ago, my wife and I were ready to welcome our first child… except the little bastard was the wrong color, and my wife's hysterical tears told me everything. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mynxie 26
Divorce her, found the real father, and dump them on him. Oh and make sure the cheating twit doesn't get a dime from you. Make the real dad pay for everything. Get out now.
Allie614032 34
I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. Did your wife really think that you'd believe the baby was yours once you saw him? Or maybe she was just hoping you were the father. Terrible situation for you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (39)
Mortimer14 9
There was a news article about 10-12 years ago with this exact subject. White parents had a black child. DNA proved that their was no other person involved. Apparently the skin color is a recessive trait that requires both parents to have it before reproducing. Have a DNA test before you throw your family away.
Survivor2001 10
Earl?
mlayfield 13
Earl's dead! lol
DeathWish5452 12
It is possible both you and her carry the genes for that to happen so try to find out first before getting a divorce because she could be loyal and it is yours.
StarkWolf_fml 23
that's never a good sign
infinitemonkey 21
Newborns are usually dark skinned. Google it. It’s because their blood isn’t circulating well yet.
lostlover89 31
Not always true. I’m half white half black, my sons father is white. My son came out looking like a little baby ghost.
Mynxie 26
Not even close. My father use to work in the NICU/PICU at Hershey Medical Center and it is the complete opposite. All babies, including black babies, come out white.
Taihaa Ford 6
wtf did your wife say??!!
qunna1183 1
somebody got some explaining to do
Nic1330 5
I hate to hear that, but to all the idiots saying it could be yours are retarded. if you mix white paint with white paint it's never turned black ****** morons
withered 30
Your level of ignorance is actually impressive.
dragons14y3r 23
News flash: genetics aren't as simple as mixing paints.
devi_916 39
If your name is Charlie, your wife is Irene, and/or you have a black mailman, I'm done.
thatslifeiguess7 16
Is anyone in the wifes family of mixed race? some of us in my family are dark and some could pass for white