Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML
Today, yet again, whenever I try to put on music in the car, my son starts chanting, "Poop! Poop! Poop!" to the tune of whatever I put on. It's been almost six months and it's driving me fucking crazy. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
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Top comments
way2go 16
It could be worse. If anyone else hears it, you can turn "shit" into "chips" or something... Maybe. Kids don't speak that clearly at first anyway
xxbvbsusanxx 21
I take it since you said "first real sentence", your son isn't old enough to be told something isn't okay to say? I'm sorry OP, that sounds really horrible, but also kind of funny. :) I'm sure it won't last for a long time, he'll find something else to say.
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Comments (40)
NickelScent 3
Are you sure he is not just saying something that sounds like "shit.". My son asks "What is it" sometimes and it sounds like "oh shit". Maybe he is saying "Mommy likes it" if you ever say that to get him to like a certain food or something.
jjmiller1001 17
the next question is why are you talking shit around your kid?
brandoneyez1 25
Oh dear now I'm afraid what my kid will say.
buckdharma 38
Maybe he reasons this is why you change his diaper.
bombielol 20
maybe your husband?
grumblebum 16
He's probably not even saying shit. A friend of mine had a little brother who liked f*cks, they were mortified until he pointed out a truck driving past, he just couldn't pronounce the word.
Alhamdulilah 15
The mass media.
doglover100 29
He could be saying a word that sounds like shit.
kate3101 15
That's probably not what he's saying. Youtube is full of videos of small children trying to say perfectly ordinary words that end up sounding like swears. Just laugh along. Anyone who has spent any time around kids will get it.
sanecatlady 13
Doesn't surprise me. Other people swear all the time, even in front of kids. It's stupid and I hate it.