Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
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Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML
Today, yet again, whenever I try to put on music in the car, my son starts chanting, "Poop! Poop! Poop!" to the tune of whatever I put on. It's been almost six months and it's driving me fucking crazy. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
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Top comments
way2go 16
It could be worse. If anyone else hears it, you can turn "shit" into "chips" or something... Maybe. Kids don't speak that clearly at first anyway
xxbvbsusanxx 21
I take it since you said "first real sentence", your son isn't old enough to be told something isn't okay to say? I'm sorry OP, that sounds really horrible, but also kind of funny. :) I'm sure it won't last for a long time, he'll find something else to say.
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Comments (40)
not_a_anonomous 9
Thats a shitty situation to be in.
EdenCrystal 21
Get out. Now.
olpally 33
I wish I could punch people in the face for saying this over used and stupid ass pun.^^ As for op, your husband probably taught him. Lol.
8born8 18
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY IT!?!? I CHALLENGE THE ENTIRE FML COMMUNITY to not make a 'well that's a shitty...' comment on the next fml containing the word shit. The person who fails this challenge should be bombarded with thumbs down and ridiculed for their evident lack of creative originality!!! The commenter with the most thumbs up wins the challenge and will bask in the glory of their victory and be heralded by the fml community, the same way St. George was after he slew the dragon.
arandomusernameaa 20
hate to break it to you but St George never slayed a dragon...
blissmiss17 16
Encourage him to say something else and excitedly reward him for doing so. If he doesn't get any feedback, positive or negative, from saying "mommy likes shit," he should lose interest in the phrase in no time!:)
datguy69s 21
At least it will be a funny story to tell when he gets older and he ask what were his first words
CrazyMelvin 14
Daddy or another sibling taught him
noobsatin 19
you know what they say, little kids never lie.
cook4money 9
Maybe he is saying "mommy likes it". If you say that trying to get him to eat something, he may just be repeating that. Unless someone is spending a lot of time with him and saying that, I doubt that is what he is actually saying.
cakefete2 31
That's a good point. The tongue is such an unwieldy thing. We spend our first years learning how to use it and the rest of our lives trying to control it.
False_Stupidity 42
And then our teen years learning how to use it in different ways ;)
CynicallyAlive 13
Maybe don't talk about and/or watch such weird **** in front of him then...
vikky538 29
wow...shit...sorry op..when he grew up it will be a.memory for you...not for him...
TXFernwoods 26
You should ask daddy/other mommy.
worldclassrager 41
Well teach home some better phrases