Today, I was at a party, and a cute girl in a skirt sat on my lap. We were flirting and I unfortunately got hard. She then stood up and yelled, "Are you getting hard? EW!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML
Today, I was making out with this hot girl at a party. She was a bad kisser and I meant to say, "It's like you're 16 and don't know how to kiss" but it came out as, "It's like I'm kissing a 16 year-old." The room fell silent and she got off my lap with a disturbed look on her face. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
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Top comments
d j mom 9
not quite sure why she was shocked. that was a pretty ballsy move on her part. did she expect you to act like a robot? not your fault since you're only human.
DLBL 23
What did she think would happen? What a child.
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Comments (7)
d j mom 9
not quite sure why she was shocked. that was a pretty ballsy move on her part. did she expect you to act like a robot? not your fault since you're only human.
Lost Reggie 22
Don't turn the ignition if you aren't ready for launch, lady.
Chazzster 32
On our first date, just before ending the date my now wife sat in my lap and gave me a kiss. She made some note about me getting hard and I told her “the equipment still works”…. We had a second date….
DLBL 23
What did she think would happen? What a child.
Wadlaen 24
In my opinion she should have taken it as a compliment!
FluffythePink 23
What was she expecting? You wriggle in a guy's lap while flirting with him and it's a surprise if it DOESN'T get hard. Seriously, wtf are they teaching kids these days?
juggalo2 22
Don't worry about it. Everything about this scenario will happen less often as you get older.