Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
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Top comments
sammichbitch 0
that's actually ******* hilarious
SoNotForYou 5
if he's young enough to wear a diaper you should know what he's doing at all times
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Comments (131)
SoNotForYou 5
if he's young enough to wear a diaper you should know what he's doing at all times
jessicams 0
What in the world were you doing that you weren't watching him for that long?
fisheatsbear 6
that can happen in like 5 minutes easily
youthink_fml 0
Then you shouldn't be letting him out of your sight for 5 minutes, able to go anywhere, able to get in anything. YDI OP. People, watch your damn kids!
kazumaslayer666 3
am I the only one who thinks the kids ass was burning from sitting in his own filth for too long andneeded relief? I'm just saying I've seen kids take a dump but don't care till it's burning. thatbmeans double fail on op for not changing him when he should have.
ndvdual3 0
You guys are adding all this crap to the post! There is nothing wrong with leaving your kid alone for a few ******* seconds. You don't know how long he had a dirty diaper he could have done it immediately. Perhaps she was only gone for a second and then couldn't stop him cause she had to figure out what room he was in.
maa_rico 4
bad parent
ndawgg 6
Everyone here should learn about FreeRangeKids http://freerangekids.com
gigglingassassin 0
Really? You lost track of your baby for long enough for them to escape a diaper, and scoot through three rooms? Either you need to watch your kid better or you need to potty train him. or buy some duct tape.
LOLomgWTF 0
My mom told me I took my diaper off in my crib when iwas a baby and smeared my shit all over my toys and face. I got spanked. Funny thing is people, I'm not from Texas.
awesomechica1229 5
lol same thing happened to me but I was babysitting the kid and she took it off herself and got it all over her face, arms,legs,and in her hair!
raiderbabe 0
that's horrible
timelesshour 0
skid marks..! 0_o
vega_82 0
U deserve it 4 having a kid...
HerpaderpMeg 12
you were a kid once dbag
Jadian 4
Stanley Steamer gets carpets cleaner! ;P
KurouTenshi 0
@22=Win Yes, yes he does!
eHugs 0
Win for the child.
Bieberbabeyy1 0
omg that's nasty!!!!!
CRUZs_GURL1 0
yeah I learned the hard way when they say poop mom it means change them before they have a chance to take off thier diaper and throw the diaper on your bed lol