Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
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Top comments
sammichbitch 0
that's actually ******* hilarious
SoNotForYou 5
if he's young enough to wear a diaper you should know what he's doing at all times
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Comments (131)
perfectgrl6971 0
And where were you that whole time? F his life for having a mother that doesn't pay enough attention to him.. It's your fault you weren't watching him. but still does suck about the carpet but I'm guessing he's 2 and that's what 2 year olds like to do. Theres worse coming too.. :) good luck.
babely1 0
that must have been some bad carpet burn...
bfffness 0
good for your son... and **** you. imagine how irritating it must have been for him to actually have to devise a plan to get rid of that itchy wet feeling... and he did so successfully :) you're supposed to change them right away.
ProudMommy 0
Wow, you guys are being a bunch of judgmental bastards. I have a 2 year old and as someone else already pointed out they can cause much mayhem in about 2 seconds. I can be in the kitchen and my son will be in his room (which are about 4 feet from each other) and in the time it takes for me to refill his cup he will take all the toys in his room out of the toy box and make his room look like a disaster area. To the people who are criticizing this parent why don't you learn to spell, use correct grammar, etc. before you start talking trash to someone else!
takemyyheart24 0
to all the people writing rude comment. how stupid and immature are you? she probably left for like a minute to do something in another room and tada the baby did that. kids dont know any better. i mean god you cant watch your kids 24/7. its not possible. and at that age they do things because again they dont know any better. and you guys are judging her because she wasnt there for maybe a few minutes. and you have the nerve to call her a bad parent? how freaking immature and stupid. apparently you know nothing about taking care of children. yes i may not be a mother or anything but i watched my cousins when they were babies i watch my baby cousin a lot and i watch my friends babies and children. and apparently i freaking know better.
fmylife245 0
i love kids,but i would kill that kid
tanay_fml 0
cummon, kids do that...dont they? if it makes u feel any better, your grand kids will have your revenge... :)
hobo_lowbo 0
ummm ever thought that maybe your kid HAS WORMS? DUH!!!!
aleex_babiee 0
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cassee963 1
get rid of the kid