Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
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Top comments
sammichbitch 0
that's actually ******* hilarious
SoNotForYou 5
if he's young enough to wear a diaper you should know what he's doing at all times
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Comments (131)
tweetbaby14 18
that's cool you should do the same in his room and all on his toys then not give him anymore or wash them
samantha_durano 6
lmao, amazing son.
gothymama 0
LOL, welcome to parenthood. You have officially been initiated!
ImaginaryFoe 1
Ugh! Kids go through weird phases where they are fascinated by their bodies and everything that comes out of them. I came home one day, turned on the light and smelled something awful. Turns out my daughter had dipped her hand into her diaper and "painted" the lampshade with poop. My husband got an earful from me and had to buy a new lamp. As has been said before, if you have kids you have to expect a little mess. Take pix and send it in to the yearbook committee his senior year.
Trixies100 0
ewwww u gots the poo on ur floor
chargerfan121 0
hahahaha your son is a complete genius!
AnnaBanana223 0
that totally sucks, but shouldn't you have been watching the baby?
dojofalz 0
you have youself a chocolate house hmmmm delicious and is it crunchy any nuts ?
dojofalz 0
crunchy or nutty ?? I would really love to know fyl dood that sucks btw why are comments being deleted ?
martron3000 5
The saddest thing about this FML is that the son is actually 28 years old! lol