Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sammichbitch 0
that's actually ******* hilarious
SoNotForYou 5
if he's young enough to wear a diaper you should know what he's doing at all times
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
1234512345cj 0
lol that made my day
rdg69 14
Oh the joys of parenthood, lol. I only had 1 that ever took a diaper off. My others didnt for some reason. I still need to potty train my youngest, so it may still happen.
alex1432 9
haha #6
linkjp 0
ewwwwwwwww
ooohlife 0
HAHAHAHA HILARIOUS! i'm sorry that's gotta be awful to clean up, but i hope you laughed!
quint9 0
And the worst part.....the kid id 27. Hehe
gozar_fml 1
that's why I never had kids - they spew shit and piss all the time. didn't anyone tell you before you had him?
Deviety 5
YDI. Unless your child is a prodigy in butt-to-carpet exercises, and can clear from the kitchen to the master bedroom in under 20 seconds, you can have fun wiping up the punishment for leaving a child still in diapers unsupervised for 10-20 minutes without even checking up on them.
Scourge87 0
Methinks somebody got caught up talking on the phone, or watching television, or something similar, because I do agree it doesn't sound likely that the kid would instantly shit himself, find out how to take off his diapers and ass-crawl through 3 rooms. YDI OP.
ctgirl12345 0
watch yor kid