Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML
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Top comments
lawls79 14
He was thinkin with the small head...
Welshite 39
Innovation. He's going places.
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Comments (305)
poopxxxface 0
Your son just became my hero. Thank him for me?
tattoo88 4
Sounds like you need a STIFF one a drink that is!!!
sarahshanghai 9
How did they know it was him?
Shrike 23
Gee, I dunno, maybe security cameras and people seeing him taping that shit up all over the school? But maybe I'm just thinking too realistically here.
lrnsull 8
That kids awesome!!!
Steve95401 49
What a dick!
nissan31 2
Yeah to funny
gc327072 30
My question is, if they didn't catch him in the act, (which I presume they did) how would he beID'd?
I_crosbourne 3
Thats the awesomest way to get expelled EVER!!!!!
stfu_bam 5
well at least now he knows how not to get caught for his next act....wonder what that'll be! lol
brittanywashere 14
Cameras probably caught him.