Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML
Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML
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Top comments
emmmilyyy 0
u don't have to drive anyone anywhere. have some dignity.
Beagle96 0
don't take it too hard on yourself. don't be in such a rush. save it for someone who cares fo you as you do them
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Comments (68)
BadPinkKitty07 0
this kinda sounds fake to me. your sister and your best friend kept track of your sex life? for a whole year? to win a freaking taco? weirdos.
turtleomnom 0
you're makin it sound like OP's sex life was difficult to keep track of. sorry OP, I'm in the same boat just couldn't resist.
onnielief 4
Actually you don't have to drive your 'friend' anywhere! What kind of friend is it anyway when they are betting on your love life?
perdix 31
OK, but I prefer sweet cream ;)
Nic_hole 0
good lord I already lost mine, well make sure your first cares about you!!
CitizenSnipz 0
@Perdix
The_Cardinal 0
it's only sex, not something worth waiting for the "right person" r god forbid, marriage. Just remember this... the first time you do it it's gonna suck cause you don't know what you are doing. Find some loser to practice with, then worry about finding better partners. Sex is a physically fun thing to do. Only ******* who can't get laid justify it by saying "wait for marriage" or "wait for someone special".. you do that, then when you start having sex you kick yourself for all the wasted time cause you were hung up on a mental issue!
iDONTNO54 0
Amen!
MissMay18 5
While I agree that sex is physically fun, so many things can go wrong with sex, like pregnancy or stds... It's generally safer to sleep with someone you know and trust. Also, especially for females, sex is as emotional as it is physical. Hooking up with someone who you don't know can really suck because you never forget your first. I'm not saying don't do it, just be safe and careful... Enjoy it, don't let it be something you'll regret later!
Spoiledgirl27 0
that's sad
vernonlglm 0
boy u suck lol
Erindub 0
Theres far better places to score a burrito than Del Taco. I mean don't get me wrong they're yummy but still.
allmidnighteyes 11
Del Taco is great, but c'mon, she should've chosen Qdoba.
HamsteronA 0
no taco bell!