Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML
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Top comments
Tuesdaythe10th 11
Take a shit on her bed and say the bathroom was dirty
CJ0106 1
Poop on her pillow and say "sorry, the toilet was dirty".
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Comments (121)
alwayswinning123 7
*****!
Just2BMe 5
Oooo dang. I would be disgusted! Clean yo sheets now!! Sorry OP :(
russfml 31
Clean his/her sheets? F that incinerate them and make your sister buy new bed sheets lol
Pogox 5
I hate you both.
martin_martian7 11
It's still disgusting having sex in your sisters bed like wtf she sleeps there!
WiseGuy79 14
I'm betting that wasn't the first time your sis used your bed as her personal sex trampoline... Time to invest in a good door lock
Silent_Thrill 17
A sex trampoline.....? I like the way you think #18!!
sharksfan48 13
I don't know why people do that. If you are gonna **** someone at least respect your family and use your own bed.
outoftown 27
They do that because they are ******* slobs.
kaymi 17
She needs to know that she can have sex on her own floor. Or outside somewhere. If that was my sister she would get a fist to the throat.
User57777 13
I read that in Steve's voice…
HaraAishi 8
22, Exactly! My sister would get karate chopped in the throat after being choke-slammed.
bethanybunny_fml 4
It seems so juvenile of me to think this, but I think it's so gross when people have sex on their family member's bed.... like they farted on there/possibly masturbated/slept on there/ate on there/layed naked there/.... I'm shuddering at the amount of possibilities.
ObeyStudKing 4
Omg. I would be so pissed off. Invite your bf or gf over and do the same thing she did to you. KARMA :-)
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Shit in her closet.
Silent_Thrill 17
You can take solace in the fact that the sex probably wasn't that great! Within good sex comes some creativity, and they weren't even creative enough to come up with another place to have sex than a bed. ... Or, she found that having sex on your bed was a turn on. She's either stupid or creepy!
KiddNYC1O 22
:looks at pic and profile: Yeah, you're not creepy at all...