Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML
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Top comments
Tuesdaythe10th 11
Take a shit on her bed and say the bathroom was dirty
CJ0106 1
Poop on her pillow and say "sorry, the toilet was dirty".
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Comments (121)
neurodoc 1
Well... It is crazy But on a brighter note, the fact that others have had sex wouldn't prevent you from sleeping in a hotel bed. Nor would the fact that your sis and her bf sat on the toilet seat prevent u from using the bathroom in your house... I say REVENGE!!!
IsBitchBetter 1
Time to scrub the toilet with her toothbrush!
softpaws 17
Atleast she didnt leave the used condom in your bed, am i right?
gmc_blossom 21
No.
jelly713 19
Well, she did leave a condom wrapper, she may have left the condom there as well or it was the first thing they took with them. Either way, that is still gross & there really is no upside to dirty bed sheets.
st333ph 12
I call it the baby maker. ((;;;
angel_of_death55 7
How olds your sister
LarryLaDouche 13
Thank Talos I don't have a sister, and my brother doesn't live with me. That sucks OP. It really blows for you. Find a way to get revenge on her!
gracehi 33
I had sex in my sister's bed too. But my boyfriend and I were visiting for a week and my parents gave us her bed. She told me, "No sex in my bed." I told her to be realistic. Don't worry, though. We washed the sheets. ;P
Silent_Thrill 17
Let's be realistic... that's probably not a story you want to be sharing. Plus, that was a really dick move to do it after she told you not to. I hope she finds out that you did that so she can take these peoples' advice and defecate in your bed. And.... just to throw this out there. It would have been ironic if you had anal sex with your boyfriend and your sister did take a dump on your bed. She would be pushing it out after she found out you had the ole in/out. Yes, I know I'm sick!
gracehi 33
Eh, I was horny. *shrug* She didn't really expect me to follow her instructions, and yes, she knows I didn't, because if you read my comment, I basically told her I wouldn't. She didn't throw a fit. All she said was, "Ew." Plus it wasn't the bed she was regularly sleeping in at the time. My parents were simply storing it for her. And she'd have to travel nearly two thousand miles to take a dump on my bed. Hence the reason I had sex in her bed rather than mine. If you've ever had sex in a hotel room bed, countless strangers have also had sex in that bed. There's little difference. Get over it. Although what OP's sister did was still petty shitty, because she could have used her own bed. I also doubt she washed OP's sheets if she's too lazy to even wash her own.
jelly713 19
-57 Are you bragging about it? Seriously? That's not something to announce proudly. You should have gotten the couch just for that.
jelly713 19
I agree with the bottom part. I doubt OP's sister washed the sheets. Now reading the circumstances it makes sense. Now if it was her personal bed it'd be different. But the hotel sheets are washed & those beds don't belong to anyone. So it's not the same thing.
gracehi 33
78, My parent's couch that doesn't have washable sheets and is in a room with no door. Yeah, that would've been so much better. Not proud of what I did, just telling a story anonymously for some entertainment.
lovelyspyder 7
And now so is yours...
mikail_fml 6
What a dirty bitch... !
Daederoth 10
At least she was using protection.