Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML
Today, I logged onto facebook, and saw that one of my friends had just listed herself as in a relationship. I was happy for her, so I clicked the "like" button. Then I went to her page to see who her new boyfriend was. It was my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML
Today, my sister made her engagement official on Facebook. When I shared the post to spread the word, people didn't read her boyfriend's name, and I started getting questions on why my sister and I were getting married. FML
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
Today, my little sister brought home her new boyfriend. He has an impressive job and is very charming and attractive. Apparently I'm the only one slightly bothered by the fact that he's 35 and she's 19. FML
Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML
Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML
Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
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Top comments
Jseldi 10
Just make a few statuses about him and he'll get over it.
Cityrulezz 4
Does HE post about how great his girl is, too?
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Comments (93)
xivoricbutterfly 25
He's on his period.
amphetamin3 17
Or Man-strual cycle as I like to call it. Lol
iAlissa 34
Hell, this whole time I just referred to them as boring "man periods". Man-strual cycle is hilarious!
sweetprettykitty 10
I always like the good old 'manipausal'
blackonblight 33
Fun fact, a man's hormonal cycle is 23 days long, as opposed to the woman's 28 day cycle. So when guys complain about women being bitchy once a month, just remember they're getting snippy five days quicker.
Sebastian2022 22
This is one hard post to make a witty remark.
melacortez 11
Make him feel special guys love it when girls brag
bitchimabunnyz33 13
Wait so you posted about how nice a cup of coffee was?
smokecloud_ 37
Don't underestimate the power of coffee...
aamir251 18
Get him to do something for you then!
gracehi 33
"My boyfriend and I had sex today and it was awesome. He lasted twice as long add he usually does--nearly two whole minutes!" He'll never complain that you don't talk about him enough on Facebook again.
bitchimabunnyz33 13
Genius
gracehi 33
"And he always double checks to make sure Swype didn't **** up his FML comment!" *as
asherm 15
Tell him maybe if he surprised you with coffee, you'd gush about him on FB....
wingL 11
at least he made it to your FML now. =]
blcusername 27
Maybe he'll be satisfied that you posted about him on FML
KingLewisII 34
lol, I'm sorry OP but that's just funny.