Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML
Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML
Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML
Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML
Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML
Today, I was meeting my sister's fiancé. I went to an internet cafe before I went to her house for dinner with them. I was on a computer and there was this really attractive man next to me. I was flirting with him and we exchanged numbers. Turns out, he is my sister's fiancé. FML
Today, in our family group chat, my sister-in-law asked me what I got my new girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. Not long after, my brother called me pissed off about me making him look bad. FML
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Top comments
lettertjes 0
That's what you get when you fish for compliments.
xxmollyxx 25
I would've given her the red phone even if I thought you were prettier, just because you were being so full of yourself! Girls like that piss me off.
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Comments (120)
Anteezy 7
You call that flirting? ...
gingersnapper 0
Seriously. Attempting to put down your sister isn't flirting, biatch,
lm_wfc 0
given you went shopping with your sister to get the same phone i'm guessing you're about 14. the salesman isnt going to respond to some little girl just because tries and fails to flirt with him.
Elemaj 0
never make a person choose beauty. although you may be pretty in appearance, your sister iz pretty in spirit. she didn't have to do anything and got what she wanted.
Darkhumor 0
I think #14 meant the sister at least didn't put anyone down/act concited/entitled/spoilt/retarded/promiscuous, while OP is all of the above
Pearljammer001 0
it would be funny if the salesman is the same guy who wacks off to dora the explorer
kitkat98_fml 0
What does this have to do with anything?! You ******* dumbass!
Tamara2011 0
Just one word FAIL bahahahahaha :) you lose
ragingflame 0
he is
Chunchunchun 3
FAIL!
Chunchunchun 3
FAIL!
AntiChrist7 0
Why would you want the same phone? You will end up switching around. YDI
Darkhumor 0
^^this^^ Although they sound like tweens, they probably LIKE the drama of "accidentally" reading each other's texts and "accidentally" finding social information that way And from the brainlessness of the original post, I doubt they thought of that.
sharon_ellj 0
Dude, why are you so full of yourself? Did you say that in front of your own sister? Ouch dude... And maybe it was his way to tell you to quit being so full of yourself. No one likes a bitch...
Fminetoo 0
"No one likes a bitch..." Well said. OP, YDI