Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML
Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML
Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML
Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML
Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML
Today, I was meeting my sister's fiancé. I went to an internet cafe before I went to her house for dinner with them. I was on a computer and there was this really attractive man next to me. I was flirting with him and we exchanged numbers. Turns out, he is my sister's fiancé. FML
Today, in our family group chat, my sister-in-law asked me what I got my new girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. Not long after, my brother called me pissed off about me making him look bad. FML
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Top comments
lettertjes 0
That's what you get when you fish for compliments.
xxmollyxx 25
I would've given her the red phone even if I thought you were prettier, just because you were being so full of yourself! Girls like that piss me off.
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Comments (120)
mandark 9
You get nothing, you lose! Good day, sir. YDI.
Facebooker_FMLer 0
Hehe, awesome quote XD
TheLetterZero 7
^^ Lawl at calling a woman a "dude". ^ Lawl at calling a woman "sir". Go cry in the corner, OP. Nobody cares. It's not a big deal at all.
zenti 2
#23 was quoting Willy Wonka.
TheLetterZero 7
Then he failed twice. The OP did get something AND she's not a "sir".
TheOtherNewest1 6
Flirting is not about stroking your own ego. It's about stroking the other person's ego. Dumb shit.
Reality_bites 14
I agree with #6 and #22 and #26. OP, dont know why you posted this. I dont think you're going to get much sympathy here.
perdix 31
If he really handed out phones based on relative beauty, he'd have given your sister the red one and an old, beige rotary landline phone to you. Or a pay phone. Big, bulky and you have to put a quarter in the slot to make it work.
rachiestarr 0
idiot. you set yourself up for that one!
FalsePretense 0
To everyone saying "why didn't you tell her about your stepmother." Well what if he doesn't like talking about her or about the OP's parent's divorce. It's not that easy to just talk about your parent's divorce. It's something that you don't want to think about and almost never want to talk about. So whoever's been saying that shit, why don't you have your parents get divorced first and then let's see if you like talking about it.
sublime93 0
LMFAO you failed. Wrong fml you meant to comment on, hmm?
yaya32492917 0
hahahaha ydi for trying to flirt with someone and then get rejected. u should have just let her have instead. this makes me happy that I'm an only child :)
BikerMike 0
I love it when a girl thinks she can get what she wants by flirting and ends up ******.
prequel_fml 2
Its okay...happens