Health: Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants...

By liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 173

You deserved it 7 721

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Same thing different taste

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 547

You deserved it 10 692

By Anonymous - 20/01/2012 23:33 - France

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 880

You deserved it 5 469

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 613

You deserved it 22 056

By Jac - 17/01/2010 19:59 - United States

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 794

You deserved it 32 838

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 030

You deserved it 9 987

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 323

You deserved it 21 695

Pain like no one has ever seen before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 353

You deserved it 5 869

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 471

You deserved it 3 731

Unexpected

By Matt988 - 22/03/2021 23:00 - India

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 292

Ripper

By Pantess at work - 30/03/2021 16:00 - United States

Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 153

fml212121 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 23:43

schlong

Fedor_fml 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 23:46

Fatality!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

aardvarkish 16

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:17

the term 'shredded beef' comes to mind, no?

suicidalbutterfl 3

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:43

lol wow just wow ^^win

doriangray2 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:22

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!damn that sucks

phishophobia 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:26

that is a beautiful analogy

imakeubleed 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:28

get a hobby.

brucesgirl 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:39

epic fail!

Bboy_DiSpirit 21

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:42

dont you you guys wear underwear or something???

dphilipson12 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:02

next time wear undies dumb shit

firesparkz 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:10

schlong??

clintcarlton_fml 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:15

sucks to be you

paperisuseful 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:17

you rock at metaphors.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 539

You deserved it 39 042

Today, I realized that I’m one of those freaks: I took my cat on a walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 668

Today, while playing a game of Cards Against Humanity, I had to explain to 3 grown men that there is NOT an actual bone in their dicks. It's mostly vascular tissue that swells and becomes rigid, and a broken dick is when they pop one of the two main vascular tubes, which can cause many severe problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 115

Today, I had an oral English exam to present in front of three teachers. Halfway through, I completely lost my voice. They failed me because they thought I was trying to play a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 823

You deserved it 3 818

Today, I realized my husband’s true “ride or die” is his dick. He’s posted it online, cammed with strangers, and fantasized about men, while I raised our kids, did IVF alone, and stayed loyal through deployments. He says he loves me. I’m not the gender of his fantasies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 107

Today, my boyfriend preferred to delete his account than admit we are in a relationship on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 561

You deserved it 5 786

Same thing different taste

Pain like no one has ever seen before

Unexpected

Ripper

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