Health: Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants...

By liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 173

You deserved it 7 721

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Same thing different taste

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 547

You deserved it 10 692

By Anonymous - 20/01/2012 23:33 - France

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 880

You deserved it 5 469

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 613

You deserved it 22 056

By Jac - 17/01/2010 19:59 - United States

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 794

You deserved it 32 838

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 030

You deserved it 9 987

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 323

You deserved it 21 695

Pain like no one has ever seen before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 353

You deserved it 5 869

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 471

You deserved it 3 731

Unexpected

By Matt988 - 22/03/2021 23:00 - India

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 292

Ripper

By Pantess at work - 30/03/2021 16:00 - United States

Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 153

fml212121 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 23:43

schlong

Fedor_fml 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 23:46

Fatality!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

Rickyretardo 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 0:34

#47 I totaly agree

shawty_22 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 0:37

way too many of these fml's

FarSide 22

Wednesday 17 March 2010 0:46

Hurts worse if you're a man.

fmlurlife 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 0:50

that was well put

Namenlos_fml 20

Wednesday 17 March 2010 0:52

YDI for the mortal combat reference.

ThaHero 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 0:54

Schlong?

kkriistiin 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:00

shlong = penis, dick, crotch

kkriistiin 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 0:58

this is like the stupidest way to say it. just say the zipper ****** up yur dick

Ookami87 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 0:58

After this history, i will call my Schlong - Shang Tsung ;)

perdix 29

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:04

My schlong would win -- it's made of tool steel!

ScaryyMary 14

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:40

You mean your schort?

demoon_fml 7

Wednesday 17 March 2010 3:17

I have a 8 inch schlong. Beat that perdix. Also, nice pic scarymary.

perdix 29

Wednesday 17 March 2010 5:31

There's only one way to settle this. . .

perdix 29

Thursday 18 March 2010 0:45

Yeah, demoon, I've got a 14-inch schlong. Sadly, the 1/4" diameter makes it an object of derision rather than lust.

hayliews 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:16

lollerskates

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Today, I went to get gas for my car. While waiting in line at the cash register, I was next person, and I noticed the cashier had her name tag on her boob. I like to know other people’s names, and the name tag said Irene. The cashier saw me looking at her breast so now I'm not sure if she thinks I’m a pervert or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 201

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of, "how hard he gave it to me last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 678

You deserved it 10 137

Today, I received my best compliment of the year so far when an ER doctor commented positively on the clarity of my urine sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 753

You deserved it 2 379

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 682

You deserved it 2 327

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 374

You deserved it 54 326

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 892

You deserved it 6 522

Same thing different taste

Pain like no one has ever seen before

Unexpected

Ripper

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