Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my wife frantically saying something about her having scabies, and that I had to take her to the ER. It turned out to be eczema. FML
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML
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Top comments
yanksby7 6
So you're upset that some poor woman was so uncomfortable that she had to swallow her pride and press a button to get someone else to scratch a private area? Perhaps patient care is not the right field for you. F HER life, and grow up OP
cookie_crumble89 11
What you need is a "buttscratcher!"
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Comments (101)
gader 3
At least you have work to do :)
Jewnut 0
when I was in the hospital they never let me sleep so I made sure to ask for everything possible. should have had them scratch me too
rubberduckie94 13
Yeah, they probably did not let you sleep, because I don't know, they wanted to make sure you were not going to die on them maybe? When I worked in the hospital I never minded doing anything for anyone( and yes i would have put some gloves on and tried to help the poor patient) but people like you that seems like you were just being selfish were difficult to maintain a good attitude. You calling nurses in for trivial things took them away from other people who perhaps had a real need.
Birdie_Sage 0
Well, you are the nurse!
l0v3p4in 7
Well, you are an ass!
l0v3p4in 7
Note: Just because OP is a nurse doesn't mean she should be called in for trivial crap like this, especially considering more patients are admitted due to the higher acuity. Seriously! Hospitals need to be equipped with buttscratchers, crotchscratchers, backscratchers, and whateverelseneedsscratchers so nurses can spend more time with the patients that truly need their expertise.
yanksby7 6
So you're upset that some poor woman was so uncomfortable that she had to swallow her pride and press a button to get someone else to scratch a private area? Perhaps patient care is not the right field for you. F HER life, and grow up OP
heycurl 0
Wait, your lady patient has crotch?
PeteyPablo12308 20
Why are you surprised by that??
redbluegreen 41
Were you expecting a gnome?
ShyAnn29 15
Both genders have a crotch
GUNZnRAIGN 6
girls have crotches too numbnuts
nicoli7jj 3
Lmao!!! Thats great.. Ha..
perdix 31
You get paid for that! I've been diddling girls for free. I could have been charging all these years and making some extra ... scratch ;)
thats_my_job 11
I can't stop laughing after reading some of your comments. This one was hilarious =-)
Halti 4
legend
br0ccoli 15
Hahahha! 'diddling girls for free'
sincerelyjay 13
I feel bad for the patient not being able to scratch herself. It must be embarrasing.
DocBastard 40
This complaint is coming from the same person who has to wipe patients' asses after they poop, empty their foley catheter bag after they pee, and wipe their chin after they vomit? I have a tremendous amount of respect for nurses, but much less for the ones who complain about having to do their job.
daftPunKt 4
I thought hospitals pay money to nurses aids to wipe ass, but all I ever saw them do was chat in the corner and roll their eyes when a patient asks for something. Nurses have a lot more other responsibilities which are more important.
coffee_man900 16
Did it say that OP is a Nurse? Could be a PSW. (support worker) Either way, well said Doc. (about time you made sense. *joke* *sort of*) My Wife is an RN and I have yet to hear her complain about anything she has had to do for her Patients, except when she has had to get up at 3:00 in the morning and drive for an hour to restart an IV (Community Nurse) then drive an hour back home to get ready for work, then visit another 15 Patients for the day. She loves her job and does her very best for the ones she takes care of. Now if I could get her to pay some attention to me, it would be wonderful. (Career comes first, damn.) :)
titzenpitzer 9
when I was in the hospital because of an operation I felt guilty when the nurse helped to wash me. I have an enormous amount of respect for these people :)
rubberduckie94 13
Oh how sweet. You should not feel guilty though, you were not well. Nurses and nurse aids for the most part love their job and feel good when they can help someone feel more comfortable. I sincerely hope nobody that took care of you made you feel like an inconvenience.