Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my wife frantically saying something about her having scabies, and that I had to take her to the ER. It turned out to be eczema. FML
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML
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Top comments
yanksby7 6
So you're upset that some poor woman was so uncomfortable that she had to swallow her pride and press a button to get someone else to scratch a private area? Perhaps patient care is not the right field for you. F HER life, and grow up OP
cookie_crumble89 11
What you need is a "buttscratcher!"
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Comments (101)
rubberduckie94 13
At first I read cat bell.
jackol9 4
Ydi it comes with the job!..
zombi3ki113r14 4
Hopefully you didn't do a "scratch-n-sniff".
hot00frb 4
Did you use your teeth ?
l0v3p4in 7
Ahhhh, yes! A little MRSA, maybe a few particles of blood and tissue stuck in between her teeth sounds just scrumptous! A nurse's hearty breakfast to get her started in the morning. Yum yum!
br0ccoli 15
No glove, no love.
FilleNoir 21
So that's your Job, get over it.
linkinpark98 24
They better be paying you a nice little stack for those kind of things. XD
sillydumpling 0
Your patient was simply horny
Lumbeeman86 6
I work as a CNA. I have been there. It SUCKS. I feel your pain.
l0v3p4in 7
Noor, your comments make me chuckle, but this one made with laugh hysterically. I could never imagine a doctor actually scratch a patient, especially in such an area. I've had too many ask me to do such trivial things as push a button on a machine that was located right beside them while I was in the midst of wiping another patient's backside down the hall. If such a doctor existed, I'd think I'd died and gone to Heaven. I'd fall in love with that doc. *Dreamy eyes*