Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my wife frantically saying something about her having scabies, and that I had to take her to the ER. It turned out to be eczema. FML
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
yanksby7 6
So you're upset that some poor woman was so uncomfortable that she had to swallow her pride and press a button to get someone else to scratch a private area? Perhaps patient care is not the right field for you. F HER life, and grow up OP
cookie_crumble89 11
What you need is a "buttscratcher!"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
Razr109 0
Ochhh that suck
l0v3p4in 7
36 - FYL for saying your life sucks. If it sucks so much, turn that frown upside down and go read some of DocBastard's blogs. You'll then realize how great your life truly is. Be happy that you're alive and you can experience such a beautiful place called Earth.
Jennysplace21048 2
All the hard work we go through in nursing school feels like such a waste when things like that happen.
hilary56 0
You liked it! ;)
BobbieH 19
Welcome to nursing! Did you not read the job description? There's lots of activities that you'll perform that are awkward and embarrassing.
geod69 8
That's your job to help
geod69 8
That's your job to help
Calyx_fml 22
Hospital stays are so expensive they should come with a complimentary happy ending.
Scoutman 5
That's why you get paid that mad nursing money. yDI
l0v3p4in 7
If OP is a nursing assistant, there definitely is no 'mad' nursing money - just mad CNAs.
Ins0mau 20
I work in a nursing home and have to do things MUCH worse than that. You're helping people and getting paid in the process. Quit complaining, lots of people out there don't have the benefit of a job.