Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
mexican_music 13
How the **** is that out of instinct?
cadillacgal79 32
I worry for you that you ask that outta instinct
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Comments (54)
flyingmind_fml 17
and that's when everyone started staring at u
matchy56 2
What kind of life do you live that asking a pregnant woman who her babies father is has become instinct?!
teresa96706 29
Thank goodness you weren't having dinner with them. Otherwise that would've been so much more awkward.
MissRaindrop 20
My aunt has been married 10 times and has 7 kids, none of them by any of her husbands. It's pretty much instinct for us to ask the same thing if she says she's pregnant. Maybe OP's aunt is the same way. FYL for sure. When we slip up and ask she starts drama like she has any right to be offended. Hoping you were able to fix it.
Zebediabolical 45
When you call someone a *****, no matter what words you use to do it, they pretty much have a right to be offended by it, whether they are a ***** or not.
MissRaindrop 20
Not when you flaunt it. If you shove it everyone's face and act proud about your actions you pretty much invite pwople to say whatever they want. It's like wearing nothing but a bikini top and then getting pissed when guys stare. There's no point in getting mad if you're forcing it on people already.
Colon_Man 17
I'm with MissRaindrop. Women will wear push up bras and low cut V shirts and be all, "My eyes are up here." That's not what you are advertising, sweetie.
MissRaindrop 20
Exactly! Any woman who says differently is a liar. I've got a DDD chest. If I want to be looked at I wear tight, low shirts and I don't get pissed about it because I'm the one putting it out there. If I don't want people to look I cover up. Simple as that. Don't want people to treat you like a *****? Stop being one. Men need to be taught to respect women, sure, but you can't teach someone how to respect a woman who can't respect herself enough to act decently.
marcusbjohnson 4
you are confused about what instinct means. you are not using that word correctly.
rachilio 26
Who have you been hanging out with
rabid_otaku 29
Why is that an instinct?
Shade1982 21
Maybe because the aunt sleeps (or used to) around?
mosquito19 14
you have super ghetto instinct.
konstantinos616 17
Ah the classic Freudian slip, where you say one thing but mean your mother.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Sorry but you forgot the "And I"...