Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
mexican_music 13
How the **** is that out of instinct?
cadillacgal79 32
I worry for you that you ask that outta instinct
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Comments (54)
cjfred 13
Legitimate question... Just not a great dinner conversation topic when the husband is present at the meal.
anabanana101 15
Oh shit
sunfox5508 11
Dumbass
Goblin182 27
I say this all the time, as a JOKE people. Probably wouldn't say it to my aunt and uncle, but still, just a JOKE.
Dean__Winchester 16
Sounds like it's time for another episode of Maury! ...Or Jerry Springer, I'm not sure which direction this is gonna go down
indigohippopo 20
Maybe OP is younger and in this day and age a lot of young adults and teens have children.. Maybe OP has peers who are having children.. it is not uncommon to ask who the Father is when this happens.. and upon hearing the news OP had a slip up and asked, forgetting who they were speaking with..
katekoala 13
Do you know that many people who got pregnant without being in a committed relationship with the father?
shemademedoit 20
what happened after that?
kickyourtitsin 12
See, all your people families are just so serious all the time. If this happened in my family, that would be the joke floating around for the next 24 hours, we've just learned to make and take jokes.
lucasjames22 8
out of instinct ? what the hell is wrong with you?