Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
mexican_music 13
How the **** is that out of instinct?
cadillacgal79 32
I worry for you that you ask that outta instinct
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Comments (54)
jmoul18 12
Umm, wouldn't your aunt's husband be your uncle?
mom_of_5 10
Technically yes, but to say "my uncle" she could have been referring to her mother or father's brother. By saying "my aunt and her husband" she dispelled any possible confusion.
VitalDistance 14
Someone's been watching too much Maury...
Colon_Man 17
Ha! Here it is. I was beaten by a vital distance...
VitalDistance 14
sorry man,gotta think fast lol.
writerchic85 26
If it were my family, they'd take it as a joke and laugh.
Sneado 20
Well? Who is it?
photographer49 22
#16 The Cookie Monster...who do you think? Read the FML again and Im sure you'll figure out who out of the four people is the father
howard007 18
Ops dad clearly
peter_petrucci 10
what made you ask that out of instinct?
djurmel89 30
What kind of instinct is this?
FrontRowSquad 8
"You are NOT the father!" *Dance music starts*
annalily5 28
Either OP has a lot of friend's making questionable decisions when it comes to condom use in their hookups, or OP knows the aunt is not the best at monogamy. That or OP works at something like a gynecologist's office and has to ask a lot for work. I'm hoping it's the last one.
chocolatelover96 14
That's a sad reflection on society, if it's instinct to ask "Who's the father? "rather than saying "Congratulations". :(
WOTAN1488 24
Sounds more like a bad, modern habit.