Today, I’m still trying desperately to explain to my boyfriend why I’m not interested in any kind of breast or nipple play. I gave birth to our son just 2 months ago and I strictly breastfeed. He insists it’s "not fair" that the baby gets the breasts all the time. Um, what? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
Today, I got pissed after my boyfriend tried mansplaining breastfeeding to me. I’ve nursed two children of my own, stocked and sustained two big freezers full, and still had leftovers to donate to preemies. He tried saying pumping "doesn’t increase supply" and that I just “got lucky” making so much. FML
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, and the for the past few weeks, my husband has been sulking because I’ve recently stopped breastfeeding and my boobs have started shrinking back to their original A cup. FML
Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML
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Top comments
Kitten 12
I could barely stand my own breath on my breasts after two months of breastfeeding. Breast play and nipple play would be excruciating! Yes, boobs are nice and everyone wants to play with them. But you can do that without hurting them, guys.
thehunterofprey 5
As a man I pity this idiot.
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Comments (32)
thehunterofprey 5
As a man I pity this idiot.
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I can see why the baby gets all of the milk, but he’s right to want some tittie access. Those things are fantastic!
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
yeah well her body her rules.
Kitten 12
I could barely stand my own breath on my breasts after two months of breastfeeding. Breast play and nipple play would be excruciating! Yes, boobs are nice and everyone wants to play with them. But you can do that without hurting them, guys.
Rabite 28
Why does this always has to be explained at all? Just no, dude.
tranced_ 45
Goodluck with the relationship :)
ChromoTec 24
Q: What's the same about boobs and Legos? A: They were made for children, but it's the men who play with them.
Lobby_Bee 18
When they say a baby takes everything from you, this is a perfect example.
PenguinPal3017 19
Draw nipples onto your butt cheeks, problem solved. Just remember to only feed baby with the nipples on your chest.
mssileas 25
And so he thinks acting like a baby too will grant him access to your breasts so he can go to town despite you being in actual physical pain? Great logic.
I'madumbass 19
Yes. Love the sarcasm. Just yes.
blink831forever 13
I'm sorry that you are with a jackass.