Today, my parents' divorce was finalized, and my mother decided to publicly celebrate with a bikini wax. She calls it her "Declaration of Independence". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after much debate, I let my mom wax my eyebrows. Now I get to look super surprised until they grow back. FML
Today, I found out my mom was a swinger when I opened a closet and saw a water bottle saying something with "Swinger Club" on it, with three bags beside it with all kinds of shit in it. She's also doing pole dancing "as a sport" and wanted to have one installed in our living room. My parents divorced just a couple of months ago. FML
Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML
Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML
Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML
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Top comments
Iamnotmyself 17
We, the people of the beach, are slightly less disgusted if you bikini bottom falls off, thank you.
babygirlc1 5
It's about time she shaved the bush
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Comments (71)
skatingalyy 0
um...wow. that's...interesting. sorry about the divorce though op! :(
Calyx_fml 22
If she got one earlier she might still be married.
ndhin831 2
Maybe if she'd tamed that jungle earlier she wouldn't be getting divorced?
22cute 17
Umm..maybe she wanted the divorce? Maybe that's why she's celebrating? Maybe OPs Dad was neglecting her in a multitude of ways? (maybe you're a sexist pig for not seeing the obvious)
marpay 11
How would you know if it's a jungle? Your hair doesn't have to be super long to get waxed. She was just doing it for herself for once not her husband that could be why she celebrated.
cabbitt 0
Is her lady area now red, white, and blue?
squid93 9
Damn, another bush bites the dust, too bad! I dont mind women with a bush, but I would still like to see the declaration and possibly sign it too!
h0tc0ffey 5
Classy that I posted this yesterday, but it was denied. So you, because you are unoriginal, took my real life experience and reworded it after seeing it on the moderation section. Bravo?
thatdesertdude 7
I fail to see the problem with this.....
auddylynne 0
That's embarrassing
jobsman99 0
I love a gal with a bikini wax. send her my way.
mpclaw 3
And the reason you have this information is?