Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
Today, I might have Covid and this weekend is my birthday weekend. FML
Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML
Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML
Today, I’m on holiday with my kids and crazy wife, who often throws a temper tantrum towards us. We have rented an apartment in front of a pool. There's a heat wave but because we are all infected with Impetigo, we can’t use it. On top of that, I’ve developed a sun allergy and eczema, so I’m just inside, with no AC, FML
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
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Top comments
123josie123 11
Aww get well soon! *cyberhugs*
TheMaster15 10
Eat some chicken noodle soup and party anyways :D
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Comments (157)
kalbrek009 20
Why do so many of you condone this insatiable idiocy for underage drinking? Sure, I had a few beers back in the day, but to invite a bunch of people over to trash my parents house just isn't cool. I never (even as a teen) understood what was so cool about looking so stupid whilst being drunk. Hangovers aren't fun or cool & neither is killing or being killed by a drunk driver or getting raped by somebody. Think before you drink.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Hey man, I partied at my parents house before when they went on a vacation. No one died, got raped or even trashed the house. But I will be honest some one did take my chair cushion haha such a tragedy. Relax fella.
Haaskyle 2
Thank you! Underage drinking is DUMB!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I don't think the problem is underage drinking so much as reckless drinking, which, you have to admit, is done by a lot of grown adults as well. True, teenagers are much more likely to misuse or abuse alcohol, but we need not forget that there are teenagers who can drink responsibly, just as there are adults who can't.
FruityLoooons 8
This message has been brought to you by... (But seriously, I fully agree with you.)
MLK12345 4
I agree with this. Most of the kids in my grade think that smoking and drinking is cool. I've done both before and it's no big deal.
ssnowywinter 0
I agree. I wish I could thumb this up a million times. I don't understand what's fun about drinking either, it just seems to leave a bigger mess than what you started with.
P_to_the_AM 9
Where does it say OP is underaged? Besides, in Holland you have to be only 16 to drink, so it depends where OP is from. I agree, it's not so much about underaged drinking, but it's the reckless drinking that is the problem.
deviable 9
My opinion is that if you aren't mature enough to wait until you're old enough, then you aren't mature enough to drink.
lucyinthesky420 10
Drinking is for (*)s.
thatKidzmOm 10
I don't know what you're trying to say.
moop256 10
I think he said drinking is for penguin(s) ?
lucyinthesky420 10
Exactly.
CadyAsInKatie 8
Might as well, it'll keep u out of trouble! Lol, just as well, get better soon!
LectumX 3
And chuck testa.
hateevryone 15
sucks for you
moop256 10
Your poor short sentences are terrible forms of English. - guy who learned English less than a year ago
Googoo27 12
Grammar Nazi inbound.
tails15 4
The use of full sentences on the internet is unneccesary due to the invention of txt language and the reward of pissing off grammar nazis
DocBastard 40
Tails - read the Commenting Rules and you'll learn that txt jargon is forbidden here. So you and your txt-speaking cronies can either comment in plain English or kindly **** off.
Torva_fml 16
God I hate your comments..... They're not funny! Please, dead god... Just stop posting "sucks," or anything for that matter.
j_cat187 20
Too bad for ????yoooouuuuuu!!!???? --Goldmember
BountyBass 13
Yip! Nurse yourself tomorrow
Enslaved 38
For some reason, I'm now picturing one of those "Mucinex" commercials with those green creatures dancing and singing the Copa coughbana. Lol
ShroomsOnAcid 17
A job well done for the Mucinex advertisement team. ;)
Enslaved 38
Well. Thank you, shrooms! (: I still love ALL your comments. I actually stopped eating empty calorie and processed foods because of one of your threads. ;) kisses!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
42, Whaaaat? Wow, I'm so glad to hear that! Let me know how that goes for you. Thank you so much. Also, I now have a legitimate excuse for wasting all that time on this app!
sparklecherry 4
You don't need to be doing that in their house anyway.
chitown23 4
Hey who knows it might make you feel better
bizarre_ftw 22
You could still drink the beer, it might help (temporarily)