Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
Today, I might have Covid and this weekend is my birthday weekend. FML
Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML
Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML
Today, I’m on holiday with my kids and crazy wife, who often throws a temper tantrum towards us. We have rented an apartment in front of a pool. There's a heat wave but because we are all infected with Impetigo, we can’t use it. On top of that, I’ve developed a sun allergy and eczema, so I’m just inside, with no AC, FML
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
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Top comments
123josie123 11
Aww get well soon! *cyberhugs*
TheMaster15 10
Eat some chicken noodle soup and party anyways :D
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Comments (157)
bubo_fml 11
Time to call the "head nurse" for a "house call!" Go to it, Tiger!
suckingatlife 9
At least you do not have a chance of the police coming
cunningchick 1
Make sum chilli and make a epic party, :) a epic chilli party
wironandine 8
Epic epic epic. Stfu
perdix 31
You could still let your friends have a party at your house while you quarantine your germy self in your bedroom while watching the festivities on a webcam and masturbating.
holly1990 3
Dang that sucks get better
K3u 0
That sucks man.
Webslinger66 10
That has never stopped me
dougierocks 13
The wild party is a fantasy.. The flu, a convenient excuse as to why it didn't happen
ladyLALAA 29
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.. Man up!
rarrar321 3
You might just puke the bug out!