Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
Today, I might have Covid and this weekend is my birthday weekend. FML
Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML
Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML
Today, I’m on holiday with my kids and crazy wife, who often throws a temper tantrum towards us. We have rented an apartment in front of a pool. There's a heat wave but because we are all infected with Impetigo, we can’t use it. On top of that, I’ve developed a sun allergy and eczema, so I’m just inside, with no AC, FML
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
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Top comments
123josie123 11
Aww get well soon! *cyberhugs*
TheMaster15 10
Eat some chicken noodle soup and party anyways :D
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Comments (157)
GoW_Chick 15
That's why your parents went on holiday, you wouldn't want to do anything because you have the flu, so they knew their house will still be standing when they came home, hope you feel better, drink lots of liquids, and Nyquil does wonders.
TyffaniHope 4
Awh , I'm sorry :( That must suck
elephantom12 9
Anyone else agree that the brightness on 13's face in her picture makes her look like female Voldemort?
chocolateisyum 12
Yes!
TyffaniHope 4
Uhm thanks ? Asshole .
elgatobob16 11
Yeah
Kresaera 2
that sucks! maybe you will feel better before they get home.
lizard399 0
It just wasn't meant to be.
Pelreskovich 11
Well that's unfortunate.. If you party hard enough you'll be throwing up anyways, party on! Send out the word!
fuckyouimawesome 1
Nothing a little alcohol can't solve :)
ICATiger 13
Actually I think alcohol might make it worse......
copo37 7
Throw some bourbon back and you'll be ok. Who knows maybe when your belligerent drunk you'll be able to sweat it out. The next morning you'll feel awful either way so it can't get any worse, so might as well have a little fun.
FireFlie07 20
sorry OP, if it makes you feel better. I have the flu too.
whitey53 5
Advil. You can thank me later. Take 3-4
ThatLooksSticky 16
Better yet, write a "thank you" note before taking the sleeping pills.
BrittBritt1355 9
Same here :/ soup makes it all better though :)