Intimacy: Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping...

By lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 8 478

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Same thing different taste

By TooLoud - 31/05/2015 00:12 - United States - Moorpark

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 090

You deserved it 2 996

By AirOne - 12/11/2008 14:39 - United States

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 662

You deserved it 10 820

Bitches, amirite?

By Sergeant Bri - 16/07/2023 09:00 - United States - Norwood

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 281

By Barking Mad - 04/08/2013 11:21 - Australia - Revesby

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 906

You deserved it 7 704

Can't wait for the next time

By cowboy_gold - 25/01/2020 05:00

Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 558

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 110

You deserved it 3 816

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 292

You deserved it 5 906

Good night, sleep tight

By sleepy - 01/07/2019 02:10

Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 188

Quiet

By Deborah - 27/10/2011 06:41 - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 841

You deserved it 40 520

Yappy neighborhood

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 14:00

Today, I don't think my neighbours realize that, by getting that dog they have been wanting, they ruined the peace and quiet of the entire neighbourhood, consisting of ten houses. I'm the person underneath whose window that dog barks every day - mostly when I'm either trying to fall asleep or wanting to sleep in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 677

You deserved it 374

JasonUMN 15

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:28

You're taking doggy style to a whole different level!

syki 22

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:26

May I suggest a muzzle?

Comments

Dinoporeon 9

Saturday 11 January 2014 6:33

No matter how many times I read this, I still laugh. Tell your girlfriend I said woof.

VampOfSavannah 31

Saturday 11 January 2014 7:19

Damn, you stole my comment lol :p

October3461 12

Saturday 11 January 2014 6:41

that was sweet of you not to embarrass your girlfriend in front of your neighbors just next time tell her to not take the whole doggy style literal

zahidnasir 22

Saturday 11 January 2014 6:46

maybe she took the doggie style a bit too far

bitchimabunnyz33 13

Saturday 11 January 2014 6:48

Insert doggystyle, animal in bed, and shes a bitch jokes here :

olpally 32

Saturday 11 January 2014 6:55

They've already said them on the first page. You're late by an hour or so already. Haha.

kellyem2 20

Saturday 11 January 2014 7:07

Probably best for everyone involved that you kept that tidbit to yourself.

Muttley9 13

Saturday 11 January 2014 7:24

I heartily recommend watching an old movie called "Porky's" for the scene where the young gym coach gets busy with the young female gym coach. :)

Calingaladha 21

Saturday 11 January 2014 7:38

Brings 'getting some tail' to a whole new level

marcelmg 10

Saturday 11 January 2014 8:48

Take her out for a walk.

martin8337 35

Sunday 12 January 2014 4:22

Put a leash on her first.

xtinkluv89x 7

Saturday 11 January 2014 9:16

"Suffocate" her with a pillow, maybe??

DotDootyDot 17

Saturday 11 January 2014 10:06

You deserve it... In a good way! Enjoy the good sex, you two!

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The Top

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You deserved it 1 429

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The Top

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You deserved it 3 230

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I agree, your life sucks 38 413

You deserved it 14 056

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You deserved it 2 454

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You deserved it 12 477