Miscellaneous: Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn... - FML

By Mem - 30/05/2014 20:07 - Sweden - Hudiksvall

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 183

You deserved it 5 308

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Same thing different taste

Boom boom boom

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 115

Noise annoys

By boom boom boom - 06/06/2022 01:00 - United States

Today, my neighbor got a ridiculous surround sound system that sounds like Jurassic fucking Park come to life. My walls are literally shaking. I tried asking nicely for them to turn it down. They told me to fuck off, and that if I call the cops with a noise complaint, well… they know where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 91

Asshats everywhere

By 404 justice not found - 21/04/2016 19:15 - United States - Whitehall

Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 289

You deserved it 1 531

Thin blue line

By Anonymous - 30/01/2016 05:07 - United States - San Diego

Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 175

You deserved it 2 648

By Spawn_of_Satan - 27/03/2009 15:18 - Hong Kong

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 122

You deserved it 7 426

Back and forth

By coolrunnings1021 - 05/07/2021 14:01

Today, my wife is a tennis fan and is watching Wimbledon. I hate tennis, but she gets in a mood if I suggest we watch anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 665

By :(( - 25/04/2012 18:46 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 2 389

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 142

You deserved it 2 473

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 689

You deserved it 46 092

By AussieG75 - 21/07/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 374

You deserved it 2 545

Next

Top comments

Redoxx_fml 22

Saturday 31 May 2014 0:32

Was that the plot of the porno?

jojimugo 20

Saturday 31 May 2014 0:35

With how much they scream and grunt ..it's the same shit

Comments

buckdharma 36

Saturday 31 May 2014 2:27

That two handed grip she's using really increases her velocity and causes those balls to heat up and lose their bounce quickly. Looks like the ball boy is really going to earn his money today, huh Kip?

cpmagma 15

Saturday 31 May 2014 2:44

well those girls passed that ball back & forth...

drewflav 17

Saturday 31 May 2014 2:48

Same thing in my books.

KaylaTackett 18

Saturday 31 May 2014 2:56

Well maybe you should keep your volume down so your neighbors can't hear it.

Alchemist_21 26

Saturday 31 May 2014 6:16

Agreed. Porno or not, if the neighbors are complaining, it's too loud.

ladybugz23 13

Saturday 31 May 2014 3:32

open your curtains let them see what ya watching OR buy em ear plugs

martin8337 35

Saturday 31 May 2014 3:36

Kinda sounds alike.

llamaslikesoda 21

Saturday 31 May 2014 3:44

Sounds fun. Can I join?

Tannasgh 22

Saturday 31 May 2014 3:50

15-Love!

sonasonic 34

Saturday 31 May 2014 4:17

restraining ordrrs again! you feel ' threatened by him'.....

JKPwnage 27

Saturday 31 May 2014 4:21

I can see how she would think that...

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Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Birthday Abuse Relatable Money Social Media Scams Education Parents Kids School Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Bikes Cops Family Fight Gross Work Customers

The Top

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 646

You deserved it 3 615

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 167

The Top

Today, I came home to find my husband’s disgusting pig of a sister let herself in while we were at work and decided to take a nap in our bed. Not only did she not ask to visit, she left a huge smelly period stain on my favorite sheets. No apology, no attempt to clean up. I didn’t give her a key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 85

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 088

You deserved it 10 722

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 695

You deserved it 4 293

Today, I played back the images of the tiny camera I attached to the collar of my cat to figure out where she goes when she disappears for several days at a time. I found my husband with another woman in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 388

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 802

You deserved it 4 385

Today, I refilled a water glass I'd left out on the counter and took a long drink. At the end, I felt something spongy and panicked. When I spit it all out into the sink, a huge centipede was staring back at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 643

You deserved it 721