Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML
Today, in the neon-lit maze of Tokyo, I stumbled, drunk and disoriented, mistaken for a lost sailor. Arrested, I found myself at the wrong naval base. At 3 AM, two stern Master Chiefs arrived, confusion turning to relief as they whisked me away, navigating the streets like seasoned captains. FML
Today, I caught a flight to see my boyfriend, who is stationed in the army 300 miles away. When I was just 15 minutes from the base he called to say that we should break up. Now I'm heading back to California, single and broke. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2-month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
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Top comments
tenkenshi 2
At least he was thinking about you while he was drunk.
celiba_fml 0
your boyfriend is awesome
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Comments (112)
iamtimdotcom 0
this is the boyfriend who this is all about first 5 or 10 posts, u guys are retards, chill out grammar cops. and i find it surprising that so many ppl who are reading this online wouldnt take another minute and a half to look up and realize that oktoberfest is not in october. just a sign of how lazy and ignorant we are these days #28 you've prolly never had a relationship with much trust in it have you? #57 im amazed uve never heard of being a drunken sailor, the navy has the most alcoholics of any service. sorta odd since we are the only service that can't drink when we go on tours but there you have it. #68 you got it spot on
helluva 1
Hahah I spent 2 days getting wasted on Oktoberfest - it was a pure win! I totally don't get what was the big deal about Oktoberfest not being held on October.. Some of you Americans are very silly. Next time, try google, please?
Daederoth 10
Hmh.. I've heard this one before, somewhere. Sort of like how everyone had a friend or knew a girl that got some STD's from eating at Olive Garden, that story originated somewhere and is often retold as if it happened to someone they personally knew. I wonder, is this the original account of this story? Or, more likely I think just a re-telling of it? I think people should cite the posts they didn't personally experience, give credit where credit is due.
SneakySnake34 0
wow. this is the first time i've ever seen the op comment on their fml
chonyy 1
I think u spelled oCtober wrong juss puttin that out there
anjtrg_1112 23
Nope, they spelled Oktoberfest correctly. In German they spell October with a K.
Dilwann 27
And that's why citizens of the US are so easily labelled as 'ignorant'. Because, well, a lot of then obviously are.
anjtrg_1112 23
In Germany it's considered rude to be drunk in public, even at Oktoberfests and Chriskindelmarkts.
JoseLopez31 0
True definition of globalization
liv2laugh721 0
At least even whens hes drunk he wants to be with you
nentenkupo 19
Maybe a glitch with google maps?