Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML
Today, in the neon-lit maze of Tokyo, I stumbled, drunk and disoriented, mistaken for a lost sailor. Arrested, I found myself at the wrong naval base. At 3 AM, two stern Master Chiefs arrived, confusion turning to relief as they whisked me away, navigating the streets like seasoned captains. FML
Today, I caught a flight to see my boyfriend, who is stationed in the army 300 miles away. When I was just 15 minutes from the base he called to say that we should break up. Now I'm heading back to California, single and broke. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2-month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
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Top comments
tenkenshi 2
At least he was thinking about you while he was drunk.
celiba_fml 0
your boyfriend is awesome
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Comments (112)
xSceneSceneBabyx 0
ahaha..win. who the hell wouldn't want to be at Oktoberfest? IN GERMANY?! I sure as hell wanna go to Germany!
Disarm 0
Maybe he was so amazingly drunk that he actually thought he was at a train station in San Francisco. It's possible. I think.
KoRnchick 3
its not october!! so wtf!
anjtrg_1112 23
Some places don't celebrate it in October because the weather gets too stormy. Idiot.
Spatch_ 1
Does ANYONE even read comments anymore before posting the same stupid questions??? OKTOBERFEST STARTS IN LATE SEPTEMBER!!!! Jeezey Creezy!
gigi2009 0
HAHAHAHA brilliant!!!! this guy knows how to have fun with beer in europe :) problem is, if he's at the real beer fest in bavaria, it's actually in october. which is why it's called oktoberfest.
skandrea01 0
hmmm... My brother is in the military and in Italy. He just got home from a group trip he organized to Oktoberfest and Salzburg. LOL, totally sorry if he is part of the responsible party.
that1775guy 0
HAHAHA i think it's pretty funny actually, i'm in the navy and this isn't the worst thing i've heard or seen, oh and Oktoberfest is AWESOME!
iamtimdotcom 0
wuts ur bro's name? i am the bf so im just wondering if i know the guy.
gloep 0
Hahahahhahahaahaaaaa wonder in which country he'll wake up.
Kenji_fml 0
You're so right my friend
cjammer 0
So, let me get this straight. You get a phone call from your overseas military boyfriend (however misleading that call may be), and you're upset? A lot of spouses, significant others and families of military don't get such an opportunity, and would be incredibly grateful to hear their loved one's voice. Fail.
lexy88 0
Um....yeah. You kind of have to SEE somebody in order to be dating them. Therefore you're just saying you have a boyfriend in order to fill a void of loneliness because you couldn't get someone that would have to see you more often. Way to use him.
blue8795 0
It's not that she's angry with him, it's just that since he's serving overseas she only gets to see him but for 30 days a year (max) so a surprise visit would be something really special. More of a "Well, that's disappointing" than FML, but I sympathize her. I bet the OP just laughed it off.
blue8795 0
Ever heard of long-distance relationships?
Sooz54 0
I joined just to say this. I think that you're being pretty rude and presumptuous to say something like this. Unless you know the OP and know how she feels about her boyfriend, who are you to decide what validates their relationship? With the same logic: if the OP and her boyfriend were married and he was deployed, would they no longer be married because they were forced to be apart? What if they OP and her boyfriend were together long before he even was stationed in Italy? To the OP: YDI for dating a sailor, date a marine :D haha jk I clicked YLIF.
iamtimdotcom 0
you're sorta bitter you dont have a gf or bf aren't u. u see if u date for a year and a half then take a job where u hafta be apart sometimes u dont just resort to breaking up.