Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML
Today, in the neon-lit maze of Tokyo, I stumbled, drunk and disoriented, mistaken for a lost sailor. Arrested, I found myself at the wrong naval base. At 3 AM, two stern Master Chiefs arrived, confusion turning to relief as they whisked me away, navigating the streets like seasoned captains. FML
Today, I caught a flight to see my boyfriend, who is stationed in the army 300 miles away. When I was just 15 minutes from the base he called to say that we should break up. Now I'm heading back to California, single and broke. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2-month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
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Top comments
tenkenshi 2
At least he was thinking about you while he was drunk.
celiba_fml 0
your boyfriend is awesome
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Comments (112)
bombshellbry 0
hahaha, I feel for ya. That really sucks!
rarrigoni 0
get over it. like you never did something stupid when you were drunk? do you even realize what that says? the truth generally comes out when people are wasted, and they often don't even know it. he was drunk, far away from you, at one of the biggest parties... and what he really wanted was to come visit you. you should be pleased.
knshea 0
my daughter just got back from that Octoberfest and for some reason, it's in September. It is actually the biggest public festival in the world. But they don't care what month it is, with all that beer.
Lostsoul4U 0
OK first and foremost y'all responding are a bunch of fucktards. Read the damn post and then respond, not the other way around. Anyhow as a sailor myself I can relate to your boy. When stationed and ****** up overseas there really isn't any greater compliment for someone stateside than to be called and told that you think you're close to em and you want to see em. Drunkenese is a language you have to speak, or be around the speakers frequently to understand so don't worry about it. This isn't really a FML, this is more of another reason to stick with your man. He's a keeper honey if he's drunk and saying he wants to be with you in the middle of one of the biggest celebrations in the world...
Spatch_ 1
Yeah, I'm in agreement with you. I stated like 4 times in these comments that I was flattered that he called me. I had said somewhere in this mess o' comments that the situation was just frustrating cuz it's been almost a year since I've seen him. And trust me, I plan on stickin' with him :)
Jessaly_fml 0
I don't know why but I think it's kind of cute that he was so intent on seeing you...even if he was far far away. At least you know he's true. :)
Kuramasan_fml 12
How is that an FML? More like something to laugh at him for the next time you speak with him and he's coherent.
dat_paulchen 0
When he's back, you're gonna laugh about this for a long time I love drunk Americans on the Oktoberfest... So much fun.
lalalalalaa 0
stop dissing her, its a joking fml.
iamtimdotcom 0
ur an idiot it was the bavarian oktoberfest. they celebrate in september cuz thats just before the weather turns to a frosty nastiness.