Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
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Top comments
mkid232 15
Wow, you sound like a bundle of fun, OP...
zed34 18
Men will be boys!
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Comments (228)
iamsophie 13
They're all boys under the man-cover! My husband is like that a lot too, plus he spends a lot of his money on man-toys...
WildWonder808 14
flick his balls next time! lol
TheAuditor 4
Not too hard though... That shit can hurt. Once a girl was... well sucking one, and her tooth caught... Drew blood. Lost erection. Bad day.
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
Don't worry OP, you are dating a man. Don't you know by now that all men are obsessed with their dicks and will find any excuse to go waving their's around?
peoplepainter 1
You are dating a man, therefore you are dating a man-child. They are inseparable pieces of the whole.
BlissfulLiss 18
So because your boyfriend is an adult he can't ever joke around?
candiighal1121 14
Wow you seem like no fun at all. So what he's playing around and being silly. My fiance does weird and silly childish shit to. Be happy and grateful cause there are worst guys out there
sugarbaby9908 20
Um, I'm sorry, that's great!! I wish I had a penis to slap people with!!
TheAuditor 4
You would make a good trap.
toxicweasel47 5
Your life doesn't suck....you suck! -.-
avaeba 14
He sounds awesome! Grow a sense of fun dude
AtomicDiamond87 15
I really hope you lighten up OP ... Even a "man-child" can love and make you laugh... I find that hilarious... If it hurt your feelings then you man up...he probably hurt himself more, by slapping you with his penis, then your feelings.